REVIEW: “Everyone is Going to Die” (2025)

February 21, 2025 by Keith Garlington

With a blaring title like “Everyone is Going to Die” you may think you know what you’re in for. But to writer-director Craig Tuohy’s credit, his feature film debut has more on its mind than you might expect. But having big ideas means little if you’re not able to execute them. And unfortunately some of the film’s bigger issues lie with the execution.

The trailer presents the film as a sinister mix of “The Strangers” and Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games”. But it doesn’t have the terror of “The Strangers” or the disturbing edge of “Funny Games”. Instead “Everyone is Going to Die” is a home invasion thriller that’s so intensely invested in being a patriarchal critique that it forgets such things as building suspense, story coherence, and sticking its ending.

But Tuohy does impress in some areas including making the most of an obviously small budget. And you can see the framework of a potentially terrifying and thematically provocative movie. But not all of its narrative pieces fit together and there are a few too many details missing from the story. And once the film’s intent becomes obvious, it clumsily tries to make its point through head-scratching sequences that amount to little more than shock value.

The film opens with a wealthy land developer, Daniel (Brad Moore) cleaning up his remote ultramodern home after a hedonistic night of partying with his latest girlfriend, Lydia (Tamsin Dean). From the outset it’s clear that Daniel is a slug and the movie goes all-in defining him as such. So much so that later attempts at revealing the depths of depravity lose their punch. He’s a self-centered jerk, a crooked businessman, and a rotten father. But nothing trumps the damage he has done to the women in his life.

Daniel finishes cleaning up just in time for the arrival of his troubled 16-year-old daughter Imogen (Gledisa Arthur) who has reluctantly agreed to spend the weekend with her father to celebrate her birthday. Daniel attempts to reconnect with Imogen but it’s obvious he has no clue what she likes or dislikes. He’s even more oblivious to the deeper emotional issues she’s struggling with.

Their not-so-enjoyable father-daughter reunion is suddenly interrupted when their home is invaded by two women sporting hideous masks and a shotgun. The women, listed as Comedy (Jaime Winstone) and Tragedy (Chiara D’Anna), take Daniel and Imogen hostage but aren’t immediately upfront with their reasons. At first it comes across as a straight robbery. But it’s quickly made evident that the women have serious man issues, and specifically with Daniel.

The entire movie plays out inside the house which (as in so many other current movies in the horror and thriller genre) is yet another posh estate sitting in the middle of nowhere, conveniently away from any neighbors or law enforcement. It features the two mysterious women humiliating the aggressively vile Daniel in front his daughter by exposing his many vices. But not all of their tactics make sense. And the movie’s opinion of them is cloudy at best, with the script constantly undercutting any feelings we’re supposed to have for them.

One area where the movie excels is in the performances. Moore is too restricted by his character to offer much for us to latch onto. But Arthur, Winstone, and D’Anna each offer compelling takes on the women they play. But even they have a tough time adding substance to this barely 80-minute story. Again, its problems all come down to the diluted script which wants to say something profound but that has a really hard time saying it. Releases in select theaters and on VOD February 21st.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

REVIEW: “Cleaner” (2025)

February 20, 2025 by Keith Garlington

Director Martin Campbell has had a rocky go of it following his extraordinary 2006 James Bond gem “Casino Royale”. Since then he has helmed one notoriously bad superhero movie and five mostly forgettable action thrillers. His latest film is called “Cleaner” and unfortunately it’s yet another action thriller that doesn’t do much to change course.

It wouldn’t be a stretch to categorize “Cleaner” as another “Die Hard” knock-off. In fact it fits the description closer than many. It has a skyscraper, terrorists, hostages, and an out-of-place protagonist who is forced to take action. Of course we know as Oscar Wilde first uttered, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. But a movie needs to add some flavor of its own to make it stand out. And that’s something “Cleaner” struggles mightily to do.

**Image Courtesy of Quiver Distribution**

In a somewhat strange bit of casting, Daisy Ridley plays Joey Locke, a dishonorably discharged former soldier who now works cleaning and servicing windows on a state-of-the-art London skyscraper. While on her way to work, Joey gets a call that her autistic brother Michael (Matthew Tuck) is being kicked out of his ninth care facility, this time for hacking into their computers.

With nowhere to leave Michael, Joey takes him with her to work at the ultramodern Agnian Tower, home of Agnian Energy which is ran by two egotistical and corrupt brothers, Geoffrey Milton (Rufus Jones) and Gerald Milton (Lee Boardman). Unfortunately for Joey and Michael, she picked a really bad day to take her brother to work.

As the Milton brothers host a swanky gala on one of the building’s top floors, the party is interrupted by armed radical ecoterrorists calling themselves Earth Revolution. The group’s leader, Marcus Blake (Clive Owen) is an idealist intent on exposing Agnian’s host of crimes including killing ecosystems with illegal dumping and permanently silencing opposing voices. Among Marcus’ squad is the unhinged Noah (Taz Skylar) who believes violence is a much better way of making their point. It doesn’t take long before the tension between the two reaches its boiling point.

To no surprise violence erupts, hostages are taken, threats are issued, and the police gather at the scene under the lead of Superintendent Claire Hume (Ruth Gemmell). Meanwhile trapped high above on a window cleaning cradle is Joey, desperately trying to make her way inside to save the wandering Michael. In true John McClane fashion, Joey becomes a thorn in the terrorists side although not an especially convincing one.

Written by the trio of Simon Uttley, Paul Andrew Williams, and Matthew Orton, the not-so-original story plays out to a chorus of clichés and rehashed plot points. It’s also riddled with hilariously hokey dialogue and some unintentionally outrageous scenes (my favorite may be Joey hanging by her fingertips onto the exterior of a skyscraper some 1,000 feet in the sky while casually carrying on a phone conversation about her past).

Ridley deserves credit for putting every ounce of herself into her role. And it’s great seeing Clive Owen back on the big screen for the first time in years. Sadly she can’t shake the sense of being miscast and he doesn’t get near enough screen time. But in reality the movie’s issues run deeper and they’re considerably harder to overlook. It’s silly, short on much-needed thrills, and a rehash of other movies that simply did it better. “Cleaner” releases in theaters February 21st.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

50 Years Later: “Rollerball” (1975)

February 19, 2025 by Keith Garlington

It doesn’t seem possible, but Norman Jewison’s “Rollerball” turns 50 this year. The movie doesn’t quite blend with the filmmaker’s more lauded movies such as “In the Heat of the Night”, “Fiddler on the Roof”, “The Thomas Crown Affair”, and “Moonstruck”. But this dystopian science-fiction sports film from 1975 remains a favorite of mine out of Jewison’s rich catalog – a sentiment that was reinforced after a recent rewatch.

At the center of the movie is a futuristic sport called Rollerball – a violent fusion of roller derby, football, and motorcycles. Bizarrely, audiences at the time were so wild about the “sport” that several potential promoters and investors contacted Jewison in hopes of acquiring its rights. But considering the themes of the movie, it understandably never happened as the idea of an actual Rollerball league was repellent to the director.

The screenplay was penned by William Harrison who was adapting his own Esquire magazine short story titled “Roller Ball Murder”. It’s set in the ‘not too distant future’ of 2018 (which is both amusing and sobering for us in 2025) where our world is ruled by a multi-corporate dictatorship. The earth has been broken up into sectors, each controlled by a powerful global corporation. Together they run society by setting policy, enforcing the laws, and governing the working class in ways that protect their own self-interests.

Though released in 1975, the movie’s insightful vision has proven surprisingly prophetic. Jewison and Harrison coat their story with a futuristic veneer. But its thematic core speaks to issues that some could argue are coming true right before our eyes. The corporate usurpation of democratic rule, the unwitting surrender of freedoms, and the suppression and control of information – all have a striking relevance today.

One of their biggest means of control is Rollerball, a corporately funded and globally sanctioned sport with a strict social purpose but that’s packaged as mainstream entertainment. Every sector has their own Rollerball team and a fiercely loyal fanbase. The executive board attributes Rollerball with putting an end to wars and curing society’s many ills. In reality the game was designed to “demonstrate the futility of individual effort” and it has had its desired effect

Jonathan E. (a terrific James Caan) is the very best in the sport and has become a star who is beloved all over the world. So much so that even fans of other teams chant his name. But Jonathan’s popularity and celebrity has certain executives concerned. They see his individual stardom as a threat to their control. The corporations believe Jonathan’s fame has made him bigger than the very game they use to keep the world’s population in line.

Jonathan is called to a meeting with Mr. Bartholomew (John Houseman), the chief executive of the Energy Corporation which oversees his sector and his Rollerball team. Bartholomew informs Jonathan that the executive board wants him to retire and they’re willing to give him a lavish retirement package that will set him up for life as well as a big public sendoff in his honor. But Jonathan doesn’t want to abandon his teammates and he doesn’t like the idea of being pushed out with no real explanation.

The majority of the movie follows Jonathan’s bitter resistance to retirement and the executive board’s growing impatience with his lack of cooperation. We learn that Jonathan hasn’t trusted the corporations since a high-ranking official took his wife Ella (Maud Adams) as his own spouse. And he grows even more disillusioned after discovering how the corporations keeps their tight grip on society.

The film’s thematic depth is often overshadowed by the Rollerball matches themselves. Jewison, along with acclaimed cinematographer Douglas Slocombe and editor Antony Gibbs, film the Rollerball matches with indomitable fury and panache. They take this wild and violent sport and clearly define it for us, not through exposition but through their camera. And it gets more barbaric with each game, especially once the executives start changing the rules in an effort to target Jonathan.

“Rollerball” released as a thrilling future shock yet to this day it maintains a sharp contemporary bite. It’s highlighted with slick production values and brimming with astute social commentary. And its all accented by a touch of violent 70s exploitation. As with any 50-year-old movie, you can pick at things that haven’t aged particularly well. But “Rollerball” remains a fascinating sci-fi opus with the brawn of a pulse-pounding action thriller and the brains of a razor-sharp social critique.

VERDICT – 4.5 STARS

REVIEW: “Jade” (2025)

February 18, 2025 by Keith Garlington

True appreciators of 1970s blaxploitation will find a lot to love about the low-budget but highly entertaining “Jade”. Writer-director James Bamford makes no attempt to hide his inspiration, treating us to a buffet of blades, bullets, and bodies that decades ago would have felt right at home on New York City’s notorious 42nd Street.

As with some of the movies that inspired it, “Jade” has its shortcomings. The story is lightweight at best, some characters are paper-thin, and at times the movie finds itself wandering in an effort to make it to the next big action scene. Yet fans of the pulpy throwback subgenre will eat up the steady diet of cool split-screens, gratuitous slow motion, fun Mexican standoffs, and glorious gun fu action.

Martial artist and stunt performer Shaina West gets a starring role as the film’s titular lead Jade, a young woman burdened by grief and guilt following the unfortunate death of her brother by her own hand. It’s a seemingly significant bit of backstory that never gets fully explained to us. The closest thing to family she has left is her late brother’s pregnant girlfriend, Layla (Katherine McNamara) who is still struggling to forgive Jade for what happened.

What story there is kicks off after Jade ends up with a mysterious hard drive that’s wanted by a crooked businessman named Tork (played by Mickey Rourke who phones in his performance in what is a very Mickey Rourke type of role). Also hungry for the drive is an Interpol agent named Reese (Mark Dacascos) who happens to be Jade’s former mentor and a close friend of the late parents.

But figuring out who to trust isn’t easy for Jade, especially when shooting and slicing her way through waves of thick-skulled baddies, all with really bad intentions. And that’s basically the story in a nutshell. The hard drive turns out to be nothing more than a MacGuffin. We only get a few mild twists. And there are only a couple of scenes that could qualify as reveals. Mostly it’s Jade moving from one ferocious and stylish action sequence to the next.

Those looking for a meatier script may be tempted to write the movie off. But “Jade” has much more to offer, mainly from the electric Shaina West. She’s a physical and charismatic force of nature, dishing out bloody retribution with a twinkle in her eye and a glorious full volume afro that’s as big as her body count. Memories of Tamara Dobson’s Cleopatra Jones and Pam Grier’s Foxy Brown immediately come to mind as Bamford gives West one action highlight after another.

“Jade” is a cool, straightforward, and unabashedly violent throwback to the exploitation era of the 1970s. It’s full of razor-sharp quips, hilarious genre nods, and enough shooting, kicking, and slicing to satisfy the cravings of any fan who truly gets what Bamford and company are going for. It’s light on story and the characters are mostly archetypes. But there’s a good chance you’ll be having too much fun with everything else to bother noticing. “Jade” releases on digital February 18th.

VERDICT – 3.5 STARS

New on Home Video: “Constantine” on 4K Ultra HD + Digital

February 17, 2025 by Keith Garlington

Warner Brothers Discovery Home Entertainment is celebrating the 20th Anniversary of “Constantine” by bringing it to 4K Ultra HD for the very first time. The superhero horror film is based on the “Hellblazer” graphic novels from DC Comics and features Keanu Reeves as the titular protagonist John Constantine. It’s the feature film debut for Francis Lawrence who put together a dark and stylish supernatural adventure. Upon release, “Constantine” didn’t get the critical love it deserved. But over time people have rightly warmed up to it.

This cool new 4K Ultra HD edition of “Constantine” comes with a digital copy and will be available to purchase on February 18th. See below for a full synopsis of the film as well as release info including a list of special features.

About the Film:

Year: 2005

Runtime: 121 Minutes

Director: Francis Lawrence

Screenwriters: Kevin Brodbin, Frank Capello

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Tilda Swinton, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Djimon Hounsou, Gavin Rossdale, Peter Stormare, Max Baker, José Zúñiga, Francis Guinan, April Grace

Rating: R for violence and demonic images

Based on the DC Comics/Vertigo “Hellblazer” graphic novels and written by Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello, “Constantine” tells the story of John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), a man who has literally been to hell and back. When he teams up with skeptical policewoman Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister, their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of otherworldly events, the two become inextricably involved and seek to find their own peace at whatever cost.

Special Features:

“Constantine” Digital release and Ultra HD Blu-ray disc contains a new special feature along with previously released special features:

New Feature – Two Decades of Damnation
Commentaries
Channeling Constantine
Conjuring Constantine
Holy Relics
Shotgun Shootout
Hellscape
Warrior Wings
Unholy Abduction
Demon Face
Foresight” The Power of Pre-Visualization
A Writer’s Vision

“Constantine” Ultra HD Blu-ray disc contains the additional previously released special features:

Director’s Confessional
Demon Face

REVIEW: “Paddington in Peru” (2025)

February 15, 2025 by Keith Garlington

Despite getting rave reviews and making big money at the box office, there’s a part of me that believes the Paddington films are remain surprisingly underrated. There never seems to be the same enthusiasm surrounding them as there is with so many other stock quality family movies. And they’ve been completely overlooked by most major awards shows including the Oscars, Golden Globes, and Critics Choice.

But for my money the two previous Paddington movies sit among the very best family features ever made. So it goes without saying that “Paddington in Peru” immediately found its place on my ‘Most Anticipated’ list for 2025 movies. Based on the popular series of children’s books by the late Thomas Michael Bond, the Paddington films follow the adventures of Paddington, a warmhearted Peruvian bear who finds a loving home in London with the kindly Brown family.

Dougal Wilson takes the directing reins from Paul King and tells a new story – one that may not have the laughs of previous Paddington films but that has the same big heart. Despite living in the same London flat, the Browns don’t spend much time together. Judy (Madeleine Harris) is getting ready to head off to college. Jonathan (Samuel Joslin) spends all of his time in his room playing video games and tinkering with his inventions. Henry (Hugh Bonneville) is swamped with work at his insurance firm. And Mary (Emily Mortimer) is left to her painting while lamenting how times have changed.

**Image Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing**

The one constant in the Brown family is the lovable Paddington (wonderfully voiced by a returning Ben Whishaw) with his red floppy hat, blue duffle coat, and heart of gold. Paddington still loves his life in London, but he also enjoys his letters from his beloved Aunt Lucy (voiced by Imelda Staunton). She lives in a retirement home for bears back in Peru.

But one day Paddington receives a concerning letter from the retirement home’s Reverend Mother (Olivia Colman). She tells him that Aunt Lucy deeply misses him and has been acting noticeably strange lately. A worried Paddington is determined to pay her a visit. Meanwhile Mary sees the trip as an opportunity for their family to spend some much needed time together.

So the Browns pack up and set off for Peru. But upon arrival they’re met with some bad news. The Reverend Mother informs them that Aunt Lucy has gone missing. While searching for clues in her cabin, Paddington discovers an old map to a mysterious place called Rumi Rock. So the Browns hire out a boat captained by treasure hunters Hunter Cabot (Antonio Banderas) and his daughter Gina (Carla Tous) to take them deep into Peruvian Amazon to find Rumi Rock and hopefully Aunt Lucy.

From the opening title card, there’s something comforting about being back in this world. The characters, the tone, the style, the aesthetic, the gorgeous digital effects, the extra storybook animations – it’s all like a warm hug from someone (or on this case something) you‘ve missed. Wilson knows what fans expect from a Paddington movie and for the most part he delivers.

That said, “Paddington in Peru” doesn’t quite reach the heights of the previous movies. Most notably, it’s not as funny. It certainly packs some laughs and just the very notion of it all is amusing in itself. Yet it’s hardly a steady diet of humor. Also, by the third act Paddington’s adventure begins to run out of steam. And there are times when the movie leans a little too much on big action sequences and not on what makes the characters and their journey special.

But to Wilson’s credit, even when his film wanders he still manages to guide it back, punctuating the story with a tender and heartfelt ending that hits just the right note. And as the credits roll we’re reminded of why we adore this marmalade loving bear and his endearing human family. Even more, it leaves us with the hope that there are more big screen Paddington stories set to be told. I know I’ll be there for them.