There are those great movie lines that resonate over cinema history. They are quotes that are brilliantly written and brilliantly delivered at just the right time and they help immortalize their movie. Today we’re not talking about any of those. Today we’re looking at the stinkers. These are five movie lines that stand out but not for their greatness. Poorly conceived and sometimes unintentionally funny in their cheesiness or absurdity. So lets get to it. Now naturally there have been a plethora of craptastic lines so I wouldn’t call this the definitive list. But there’s no doubting that these five movie quotes are phenomenally awful.
#5 – “Ever play roulette? Let me give you a word of advice. Always bet on black!” – Wesley Snipes (Passenger 57)
During the action movie boom of the late 1980s and early 1990s Wesley Snipes was considered a second tier star. But with that being said he still gained a pretty decent following and “Passenger 57” was one of his bigger hits. Due to a series of dumb decisions and big mistakes a deadly terrorist takes over an airplane mid-flight. Little does he know that John Cutter (there’s an 80’s action name for ya) is also onboard. Cutter (Snipes) hides in the passenger plane taking out one terrorist after another before finally making contact with the head baddie via the air phone. One of the corniest tough guy lines followed. After asking the head terrorist if he plays roulette he offers a gambling tip. A ridiculous camera zoom leads to his big line – “Always bet on black”. The racial play on words may have looked good on paper but in the movie it was just goofy.
#4 – “They’re shooting at us!” – Copilot (“Delta Force”)
When just reading this movie line it may not sound awful. But when you see it and its use in the film you’ll perfectly understand why it’s on this list. I have a real soft spot for the 1986 action flick Delta Force. I love its cheese and its loose connection to real events. But it’s also a film riddled with some corny acting and goofy lines. None are goofier than this sweet little gem nestled in the film’s big finale. Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, and their Delta Force team free hostages and take back over a hijacked plane. The pilots crank up the jet and prepare to leave Beirut airport but not before the terrorists have one final say. While preparing for takeoff the pilots notice terrorists in jeeps with mounted machine guns coming their way guns a blazing. Alone on the airstrip and with no one else around the copilot screams a truly profound statement – “They’re shooting at us”. The obvious nature of his comment aside, its one of the most absurd and poorly delivered lines ever. Yet I still get a kick out of it even in its goofiness.
#3 – “I hate to disappoint you, but rubber lips are immune to your charms” – Chris O’Donnell (“Batman and Robin”)
There are few movies that anger me more than “Batman and Robin”. Joel Schumacher’s bastardizing of one of my favorite properties came to an end with this 1997 debacle that was an insult to Batman fans and to fans of good movies in general. Featuring one of the stupidest and most poorly written scripts ever, “Batman and Robin” could fill my entire list of awful movie lines. Schwarzenegger spits out one after another but none are as terrible as Robin (O’Donnell) revealing to Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) that her toxic kiss didn’t accomplish its desired result. After a deep kiss that should have resulted in Robin’s hypnosis, the boy wonder peels off a pair of transparent fake lips and utters the eloquent and Shakespearean line “I hate to disappoint you, but rubber lips are immune to your charms”. Yes, he actually said that. How that line made it through the numerous takes and edits is beyond me. But then again as I think of that movie as a whole it makes perfect sense.
#2 – “Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else” – Halle Berry (“X-Men”)
For a while after first hearing this line I thought I was missing something. I thought there must be a deeper meaning or a specific jest that I was missing. At that time it didn’t occur to me that it was simply one of the worst movie lines ever written. I really like “X-Men” and I remember my excitement when it first hit theaters in 2000. But even then this goofy line stuck out like a sore thumb. It happens in the big showdown where the X-Men are battling Magneto and his henchmen. Storm (Berry) is squaring off with the slimy, prehensile tongued Toad (Ray Park). After backing her adversary into a corner, Storm begins to swirl up a thunder storm and utters the truly intimidating statement above. This attempt at tough girl lingo is followed by her zapping Toad with a bolt of lightning, something that should have been really cool. Unfortunately, the unintentional hilarity of her line completely destroys the coolness of her action. I still roll my eyes every time I see it.
#1 – “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” – Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”)
Did he really say that? I mean did he really say that? Hands down for me one of the worst movie lines in the history of film comes from the much beloved “Dirty Dancing”. To be honest, I don’t know how anyone can watch that scene and hear that line and not burst into laughter. After a summer of deception and debauchery with a minor, Johnny (Swayze) finds himself not only out of the good graces of his summer resort employer but also out of the good graces of an angry father. But all is not lost. After being filled with a new confidence and vigor, Johnny crashes the resort’s season ending show. He find’s Baby (Jennifer Grey) sitting in the back with her parents. Instead of begging to not be arrested for his antics with the underaged, true love drives him to say “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”. Then they do the only thing that could heal such a deep wound of distrust and disappointment – the do a dance number. The whole thing is pretty corny but the line itself just accentuates it. It just has to be my #1.
So there are 5 of the worst movie lines. I know there are some really bad lines not included and I can’t wait to hear yours. Just leave a comment and share your thoughts!