If there was ever a movie that epitomized fan service it would have to be 2003’s “Freddy vs. Jason”. This giddily straightforward celebration of the 1980s slasher genre exists on a plane of existence where criticism seems superfluous. It’s glaringly pointed about what it wants to be and all you have to do is look at its title to know exactly what you’re in for. Unfortunately for it, simply knowing what you are doesn’t make for a good movie.

As its title teases, “Freddy vs. Jason” locks the seemingly invincible Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees in immortal combat. Both hacked and slashed their ways to fame during the 80s with each starring in their own franchises that were harder to kill than their superhero killers themselves. Freddy was a child killer who terrorized and murdered kids in their dreams throughout the “A Nightmare of Elm Street” movies. Jason carved, impaled, decapitated, burned, etc., etc., etc. camp counselors in the “Friday the 13th” franchise.

Directed by Ronny Yu, “Freddy vs. Jason” is a blood-drenched celebration of sorts that brings the two titular characters together through a storyline so nonsensical and cliché-riddled that it’s tempting to consider it as little more than a parody. Along the way the two killers feast on a never-ending buffet of brainless teenage fodder who are only there to serve the appetites of the audience. As is often the case in 80s slashers, none of the characters leave much of an impact and none of them earn our sympathy. Most all are simply written to be slaughtered.

Yet anyone who grew up watching (and loving) old-school slasher flicks won’t find any of this surprising. Most of these things are woven into the very fabric of the horror sub-genre and are what die-hard fans fully expect. So how do you come down too hard on a movie that is so intent on recreating what fans loved about a bygone era?

Screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift patch together what is mostly a Freddy story. Played for the final time by Robert Englund, Freddy has been trapped in Hell following his last defeat. He’s no longer able to enter the dreams of the children of Springwood, Ohio after the town’s parents took some rather extreme steps to erase Freddy from their kids’ memories. By forgetting him they strip him of his power (not sure how that works but okay).

So Freddy hatches a plan. He uses what remains of his “powers” to resurrect Jason Vorhees (Ken Kirzinger), the terror of Camp Crystal Lake (again, I have no idea how that works). Freddy dupes Jason into going to Springwood to hack up some teens in hopes of tricking the townsfolk into fearing he was back. Of course they are your garden variety teens: the pothead, the nerd, the jerk, and of course the final girl.

But it all builds towards the big confrontation between Freddy and Jason – a throwdown that leaves blood splattered from Elm Street to Crystal Lake. While little leading up to it makes much sense, their final fight should give hungry fans what they want. Is it enough to quantify this as a good movie? Hardly. That’s because it leans too heavily on the worst elements of 80s slashers. But it’ll be filling enough for those it’s catering to. And it offers all that some folks will be looking for.

VERDICT – 2 STARS