REVIEW: “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” (2023)

Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions doesn’t have the steadiest record when it comes to quality movies. Especially since starting his lucrative deal with Netflix. But he hits a home run with “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah”, a delightful and heartfelt coming-of-age film based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 young adult novel of the same name.

Directed by Sammi Cohen and adapted by screenwriter Alison Peck, “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” is equal part family drama and teen comedy. But don’t let that scare you. The family dynamic is sweet but not at all saccharine. Better yet, it’s refreshingly organic. And as a teen comedy its such a nice departure from the lazier trends. It’s whip-smart and thoughtful humor that doesn’t rely on cheap raunch or annoying toilet gags.

But perhaps most notably is how the film offers a window into the world of the Jewish experience. And among the many things it explores is the Bat Mitzvah, a coming-of-age ritual centered around faith and family. The ceremony has long signified a young person’s membership into the Jewish community. But for many it marks the first step into adulthood, and the massive parties that come afterwards often overshadow the ceremony itself.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

That’s certainly the case for 13-year-old Stacy Friedman (played by Adam Sandler’s youngest daughter, Sunny). She seems to have a great life that includes two loving parents, Danny and Bree (wonderfully played by her real-life dad and Idina Menzel) and a supportive older sister, Ronnie (played by her real-life sibling Sadie Sandler). Then there is her longtime best friend Lydia (a breakout Samantha Lorraine). Inseparable since childhood, Stacy and Lydia have been planning their bat mitzvah parties for years. Afterall, it “determines the rest of my life” Sunny states with an unwavering belief.

Among the film’s biggest strengths is the honesty and accuracy in its portrayal of family and friendship. The Friedman home is a breath of fresh air in that it feels like a real lived-in family space. Their scenes together are genuine, warm, and a lot of fun. But they aren’t the perfect family and we do see the kinks that come with any parent or sibling relationship. The elder Sandler gives its a wonderful supporting performance but its his two daughters who steal the show.

Meanwhile the movie does a superb job of capturing the layers of young friendship and a 7th grader’s social experience. Sunny Sandler and Samantha Lorraine have a sparkling BFF chemistry, but it’s when their characters find themselves at odds that the performances really shine. The movie does tease us with a couple of teen movie caricatures (namely the dreamy guy, and the cool rich girls), yet it looks at them through the undiscerning eyes of a 13-year-old girl. It’s an often funny yet thoroughly truthful perspective, conveying how kids that age see themselves, their friends, their parents, and their world in general.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

The great supporting cast extends even further, playing classmates, parents, teachers, etc. They all fit nicely in this story of two lifelong best friends who see their relationship crumble on the eve of their bat mitzvahs. And all over a boy from their Hebrew school. There’s so much good humor woven into the very fabric of Peck’s lights-out script. But she also shows how cruel young people can be to each other. It all makes for a surprisingly effective in portrayal of adolescence.

It’ll be funny to see how many critics wedge the word “nepotism” into their reviews. Whatever. Adam Sandler’s two daughters, Sunny and Sadie, give cracking performances and are big reasons “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” works so well. The movie is an all-around entertaining affair that may seem like your prototypical coming-of-age creation. But it’s full of its own flavor and packs its own sweet and sassy punch. It routinely caught me off guard in the best ways possible and quickly won me over with its big heart and indelible charm.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

9 thoughts on “REVIEW: “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” (2023)

  1. I watched this over the weekend and found it a light and funny little slice of young teenage angst…and of course the dreamy guy comes between them! Dylan Hoffman plays this first major role well and I think we’re going to see more of him in the future. Samantha Lorraine as Lydia reminded me of a young Ginnifer Goodwin (He’s Just Not That Into You 2009). I enjoyed the chemistry of the Sandler daughters with their real life dad Adam, as well as seeing Idina Menzel once again play Adam’s wife as she did in 2019’s Uncut Gems (though she’s a much nicer and more likable character in this one!). This was certainly a family affair as Jackie Sandler, his real life wife, plays Lydia’s mom Gabi. I found the entire cast believable and fun, and overall a very entertaining hour and forty something minutes!

  2. I’ve heard really good things about this as I want to see it. I know Sandler is going to get a lot of shit for putting his kids into his films as they’re going to get shit and be called nepo-babies but if they can really act and show they have chops. What is there to complain? I hope Adam Sandler finds that nice balance of creating engaging and fun comedies that doesn’t cater to the lowest common denominator and also do something meaningful in whatever dramatic work he does.

    • I gotta say, this movie was a delightful surprise. You’re right – nepotism is sure to be thrown at it. But his daughters are really good and make great fits. I’m looking forward to seeing it again with mu family.

      • I don’t think Judd Apatow got any real flack over casting his wife actress Leslie Mann or his daughters Maude and Iris in his films- they are all genuinely good actresses, and were very well suited for the parts they have played. I think it’s the same for Sandler’s wife and daughters, especially in this particular film about a Jewish family and this rite of passage. I’ve always loved Adam Sandler, so of course I’m a little biased. Adam has surrounded himself with his friends “family” forever in his movies, so this is just an extension of that in my mind.

      • It’s funny, when I was posting my review on Rotten Tomatoes I did indeed see the word “nepotism” pop up in several fellow critics’ reviews. Thankfully it doesn’t appear to be that big of a thing which is good to see.

  3. Pingback: Adam Sandlers neuer Film schreibt Geschichte auf Rotten Tomatoes

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