Packing a cracking cast and one hilariously ungainly title, “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare” is in many ways a Guy Ritchie flick through and through. Like so many of his movies, it features Ritchie’s signature style, swagger, and offbeat sense of humor. For some that’s a strong selling point; for others it may be a turn-off. Either way, Ritchie remains an interesting filmmaker who’s able to get big studio support and big names to star in his films. I can understand why.

His latest is based on Damien Lewis’ 2014 nonfiction book “Churchill’s Secret Warriors: The Explosive True Story of the Special Forces Desperadoes of WWII” and focuses specifically on Britain’s 1942 clandestine mission dubbed Operation Postmaster. Ritchie takes a more embellished approach to the event, nailing down the historical basics and then creating his own proudly cheeky and joyously violent genre movie. In this case it’s like a spaghetti western in World War II dressing.

To no surprise, the brazenly self-aware “Ungentlemanly Warfare” is colored with the style and energy of its creator. There is plenty of wit and a number of bloody and bombastic action sequences to take in. But Ritchie surprises with stretches of unexpected restraint that allows the more serious elements of history to filter through. It’s an important touch that calls back to other classic men-on-a-mission movies while showing that Ritchie’s interests go beyond just checking his own boxes.

With German U-boats prowling the Atlantic, cutting off vital supply chains and keeping the United States from joining the war, Churchill (a not-so-convincing Rory Kinnear) green-lights a covert operation as a last-ditch effort to avoid surrendering to the Nazis. The Prime Minister’s liaison known as “M” (Cary Elwes) is tasked with putting together a team. Not of everyday soldiers, but of ruthless men who have no issue with breaking the rules in order to complete their task.

“M” immediately calls for the one man who can pull off such a job – Gus March-Phillipps (played by an utterly delightful Henry Cavill, sporting a curly mustache, shaggy beard, and charm to spare). Gus is brought in from prison (yep, prison) and briefed. He’s told that a merchant ship called the Duchessa d’Aosta will be docking in Fernando Po, a small Spanish island in the Gulf of Guinea. Once there it will be loaded with essential Nazi supplies that are to be distributed to the U-boats. The mission – blow up the ship and the supplies, ultimately crippling the U-boats in the Atlantic.

Gus agrees to take on the “unsanctioned, unofficial, unauthorized” mission but only if he brings his own team. A desperate “M” agrees. So Gus summons his band of highly skilled rogues, each with their own reason for wanting to kill Nazis. They include the brawny Swedish brute Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson), explosives guru Freddy Alvarez (Henry Golding), and expert sailor Henry Hayes (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). And they’ll need to make a stop in the Canary Islands to save an old friend and master tactician Geoffrey Appleyard (Alex Pettyfer) who’s being held at a Nazi base (the rousing rescue sequence is the film at its finest).

As Gus and his team sail towards Fernando Po, two secret operatives, Marjorie Stewart (Eiza González) and Heron (Babs Olusanmokun), arrive early by train to begin preparations. Marjorie is tasked with seducing Heinrich Luhr (Til Schweiger), the sadistic Nazi officer who oversees the port. Heron is the Rick Blaine of Fernando Po – a well-connected club owner who will setup diversions so that Gus and his men can sail in and do their duty. But in the movies things rarely go as planned and the teams will have to navigate some harrowing hurdles to pull off their mission.

Everyone from the charismatic cast to Ritchie himself seems to be having a blast and it certainly carries over to us. The chemistry, the playfulness, the panache – it all clicks. Not everything is lighthearted fun. We get instances that bring us back to earth and remind of the true story’s stakes. Just not many of them. That’s because this movie is much more about our unsavory yet likable antiheroes killing LOTS of Nazis in a number of ungentlemanly ways while thumbing their noses at the weak-kneed Admirals cowering back in London. Who wouldn’t love that?

For the most part “Ungentlemanly Warfare” bops along at a good pace, only lagging a bit in the second half before picking back up on its way to an action-fueled payoff. There’s a reasonable amount of suspense, some humorous dialogue, and well-shot action that swings between savage and comical. And all of it plays to the pulpy rhythms of composer Christopher Benstead’s toe-tapping score. I doubt there will be a sequel. But if Churchill were to once again come calling, I would happily follow Cavill and company on another Nazi-slaying adventure.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

Dev Patel jumps head-first into the action arena with “Monkey Man”, an intriguing revenge thriller that marks the 33-year-old actor’s directorial debut. The ambitious “Monkey Man” is a brutal and bloody amalgamation that attempts to pull equally from Hollywood and Indian action cinema. Patel’s management of both styles, in front of and behind the camera, is a big reason his hard-hitting first feature works when it does. That said, it’s not without its flaws.

In addition to directing and starring, Patel also conceived the story, co-wrote the screenplay, and co-produces alongside Jordan Peele. His film was nearly cancelled after numerous delays during the COVID-19 pandemic. But Patel pushed through and his finished film was acquired by Netflix. Soon after, Peele saw the movie and was impressed. He purchased it from Netflix and inked a distribution deal with Universal Pictures. And just like that Patel’s passion project had its path to the big screen.

Some have compared “Monkey Man” to the John Wick films and from the trailers it’s easy to see why. But with the utmost respect, this is no John Wick. And the comparisons don’t do Patel’s film any favors. First off, this is not the fast-flowing, action-fueled movie you might expect. The bulk of the action in concentrated into two expanded sequences – one in the first half, the other in the final act. That’s pretty much it. And while Patel pours himself into it physically, the sequences are lacking in several ways. More on that in a second.

Patel plays a somber young man with no name who’s tormented by his troubled past. We learn that as a child he witnessed the savage murder of his mother (Adithi Kalkunte) at the hands of a cold-hearted Chief of Police, Rana Singh (Sikandar Kher). Donning a blood-stained gorilla mask, the young man now works in an underground fight club where he gets beaten to a pulp for cash. But in the back of his mind all he can think of is paying back every crooked police officer, corrupt politician, and spiritual guru involved in his mother’s death.

The young man’s quest for revenge starts when he gets a job at a swanky night club/restaurant ran by Queenie Kapoor (Ashwini Kalsekar), a child trafficker and close associate of Rana Singh. He carefully crafts a plan and patiently waits to make his move. Unfortunately things don’t go as planned and he misses his chance to kill Rana. He manages to escape but is badly wounded and severely beaten. His near lifeless body is nursed back to health by a vaguely defined transgender religious sect who use a few chants, some drum beats, and a burlap sack full of rice to turn him into a one-man killing machine. Yep.

Of course the young man gives vengeance another whirl, this time leaving behind a much higher body count. Much like the earlier action sequence, the finish has its moments and Patel’s intensity and physicality carry the load. Yet even with some beautifully violent flashes of brilliance, the action as a whole feels surprisingly inert. That’s because Patel’s big stylish swings can sometimes get in the way. But by far the biggest problem with the action is Patel’s frustrating over-reliance on shaky-cam and quick-cuts. It mucks up the scenes and can be borderline disorienting.

Meanwhile through it all Patel attempts to weave in commentary on Indian politics and religion although without much context. And he makes several broad statements on power, class, and marginalization. But they too are more surface level than explored. It’s obvious what Patel is going for. But “Monkey Man” ends up stuck in a rather unsatisfying middle ground. The lack of depth in its setups and treatments weakens its messaging. At the same time, its attempts at messaging takes away from the action which could have driven the film if given more attention.

All of that said, Patel still accomplishes quite a bit. First, he remains a terrific actor and he gives yet another astonishing performance in a role unlike anything he’s done in the past. He also shows some keen senses and an unbridled ambition behind the camera. His decisions don’t always come together, but he clearly has a bright future as a director. As for “Monkey Man”, it’s an admirable yet perplexing first effort in desperate need of some fine-tuning. It’s a movie with flashes of genius but hampered by a few head scratching choices and some miscalculations that unfortunately hold it back. “Monkey Man” is in theaters now.

VERDICT – 2.5 STARS

Spider-Man is easily one of the most popular superheroes in existence. Among the many things that fans love about the revered webslinger is the amazing array of characters who fill out his world. Allies, villains, non-superpowered side characters – the list is long and diverse. Over the years many have found their ways onto the big screen and one thing has become abundantly clear, some characters have fared considerably better than others when it comes to Spidey movies.

Adding to the list of those who haven’t fared well is Madame Web, a supporting character in the Spidey comics who now gets her own movie in Sony’s Spider-Man cinematic universe. Unfortunately what we get is an exercise in futility that stretches the Spider-Man brand beyond its limits. Directed by S.J. Clarkson and (somehow) written by a team of FOUR screenwriters, “Madame Web” is a hodgepodge of fair to downright terrible ideas, thrown together to form one of the more excruciating superhero movies to endure.

Opening in 1973, deep in the Amazonian jungles of Peru, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) provides security for a science and research expedition led by Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé). There they discover a new species of spider with healing properties capable of curing all kinds of diseases. In true villain form, Ezekiel turns on Constance and their team, claiming the discovery for himself and leaving Constance for dead. A mysterious local tribe attempt to save Constance and her unborn baby using some kind of magical spider venom. But Constance dies while delivering her daughter, Cassie.

From there we jump ahead to 2003 as what happened in the thirty years between is mostly left unanswered. Cassie (Dakota Johnson) is a New York City paramedic working alongside Ben Parker (Adam Scott). When an emergency call ends with Cassie having a near-death experience, she begins having strange and unexplainable visions. She first tries to dismiss them as simple déjà vu. But over time she realizes her visions are actually glimpses into the future.

Meanwhile Ezekiel, who has premonition and physical powers all his own, has set his sights on three unconnected teenagers, Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Carazon (Isabela Merced), Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor). Ezekiel has been haunted by visions of the future where these girls (somehow) gain their own spider-powers and use them to kill him. Determined to prevent his death, Ezekiel sets out to kill the girls first. But when Cassie’s newfound powers reveals Ezekiel’s plans, she’s compelled to save and protect the girls, all while trying to understand her strange abilities.

As vague and poorly defined as it is, there are hints of an original and potentially interesting premise. But Clarkson and the team of writers never get beyond teasing those ideas. Instead their movie meanders to the point of tedium. The characters are dull and uninspired as is the action which is hampered by poor staging, choppy editing, and mediocre-to-bad CGI.

The dreadful script doesn’t help things. It’s full of gaping holes, narrative shortcuts, and some astonishingly bad dialogue. The glaring oversights (and there are many of them) are especially funny. Take Cassie being wanted by police for kidnapping the girls she actually saved. Yet she drives all over New York City in a stolen cab, walks around in broad daylight, gets flights in and out of the country without the cops every getting wind. It’s as if the movie completely forgets the whole police angle.

“Madame Web” is capped off with an unimaginative and utterly preposterous finale that leaves you scratching your head at how poorly its pieces come together. There’s no real stakes and as a result there’s no real suspense. Add to it our general lack of investment and you have a doomed ending with no real chance of offering up a satisfying conclusion. Its best quality is that it mercifully ends what is a flailing mess of a movie – one that seems perfectly content with riding Spider-Man’s coattails rather than trying for something smart, original, and coherent. “Madame Web” is in theaters now.

VERDICT – 1.5 STARS

It seems that Tyler Perry’s latest self-branded feature “Mea Culpa” wants to be a number of things including a legal thriller, an erotic thriller, and a psychological thriller. The problem is there’s not a thrill of any kind to be found in this astonishingly bad, completely hollow, and downright trashy straight-to-streaming debacle. In fact, it’s only the unintentional laughs (and there are MANY of them) that make the film the slightest bit bearable.

Produced, written, and directed by Perry, “Mea Culpa” is the kind of movie that will find an audience just by being plastered all over the Netflix homepage. And to be fair, a lot of people will watch it just because Perry’s name is attached. But that doesn’t excuse the kind of shoddy quality that we get in “Mea Culpa”. While Perry’s direction is nothing to write home about, the real culprit is his writing from the utterly absurd storyline, to the incredibly shallow characters, to the laughably bad dialogue.

Kelly Rowland is given the unenviable task of playing Mea Harper, a defense attorney whose marriage is on the rocks. Her husband Kal (Sean Sagar) lost his job as an anesthesiologist for showing up to work wasted. Even worse, he may have cheated on Mea. To complicate matters even further, Kal has an unhealthy attachment to his domineering and dying mother, Azalia (Kerry O’Malley) – a baffling addition to the story that plays out about as poorly as possibly.

While at her law firm, Mea is approached by an edgy contemporary artist named Zyair Malloy (a bone-dry and lifeless Trevante Rhodes). He’s suspected of killing his girlfriend and is set to be prosecuted by the District Attorney. The police have gobs of evidence against him yet Zyair claims his innocence. He wants Mea to defend him in court and after lengthy consideration she agrees. After all, with her husband not working they need the money.

There’s only one problem with Mea taking the high-profile case – the District Attorney is her brother-in-law, Ray (Nick Sagar) who has aspirations of running for mayor and plans on using a conviction of Zyair as part of his campaign. Obvious family conflicts ensue, most of which begin sending the story in a new direction that happens to be as predictable as it is implausible.

To avoid the paparazzi (and to provide a convenient reason for them to be alone), Mea begins meeting in Zyair’s loft to discuss the case. But to no one’s surprise the legal talk quickly takes a back seat to seduction. Despite there not being an ounce of notable chemistry between Rowland and Rhodes, the insipid sexual deviant Zyair begins wooing the supposedly sharp and intelligent Mea.

And that gets to one of the film’s biggest problems. Everything that plays out makes the allegedly ‘strong female lead’ as dumb as a box of rocks. The terrible choices she makes, her inability to see the obvious, her overall lack of good instincts and judgement – Mea gets shockingly dumber as the story progresses which I’m guessing wasn’t what Perry was going for. Yet the material is so bad leaving Rowland in a no-win situation. There’s simply nothing she can do to make us believe in the Mea that Perry wants.

None of the supporting cast or characters fare any better (and I do mean NONE). I mentioned the deflated Rhodes who can’t muster a spark of energy or charisma. Everyone else is cranked up too high – the overly oblivious Kal, the overly ruthless Azalia, the overly haughty Ray. And then there’s Mea’s friend, Jimmy (RonReaco Lee), one of the worse private investigators you’ll find in a movie. But again, the cast can only do so much with such a dreadful script. And Perry’s direction routinely puts them in positions that no amount of good acting could overcome. “Mea Culpa” is now streaming on Netflix.

VERDICT – 1 STAR

Jade Halley Bartlett writes and directs “Miller’s Girl”, a wobbly new thriller backed by Seth Rogen’s Point Grey Pictures production company. It’s a film that tries hard to take a nuanced approach to the familiar story of a teacher-student relationship that crowds or crosses the line of appropriateness. But what we get is a movie full of potential that’s never realized.

“Miller’s Girl” teases us with some interesting and possibly complex ideas only to muddle them with its own cleverness. The script is the main culprit, oscillating between artfully provocative and downright silly in its attempt to be subversive and heady. What’s more of an issue is that we are never given a reason to care about any of the characters. There’s no emotional attachment or investment whatsoever, making the story hard to connect with beyond a few surface-level flashes of humanity.

Martin Freeman plays Jonathan Miller, a frustrated middle-aged man reserved to being stuck in a rut both professionally and personally. Jonathan is a failed writer who now teaches high school literature. Meanwhile at home he gets no support from his wife Beatrice (Dagmara Dominczyk), an unsavory alcoholic who never passes up on a chance to emasculate her husband and take shots at his insecurities. There’s clearly more to their marriage story than what we’re given, but as with so much else in the story it’s merely glazed over.

But things take a turn at school with the arrival of a new student to his class, Cairo Sweet (Jenna Ortega). She’s an 18-year-old writing prodigy who has been left alone by her parents to live in their rural Tennessee mansion. As a character, Cairo comes across as smart and assured but ultimately impossible to read. Nothing she does makes much sense. This is especially true after she decides to seduce her teacher for reasons murkier than a glass of muddy water. Is it an act of naïveté from a young girl drawn to her teacher’s attention? Is it a devious use of her sexuality to get what she wants?

As for Jonathan, he’s instantly impressed by his promising new student who shows a surprising amount of interest in her assignments and in him. Their teacher-student relationship grows as Jonathan tries to encourage Cairo to push her creative boundaries. But one particular creative writing assignment pushes things too far, blurring the lines between mentorship and attraction.

Bartlett steers her audience towards what she hopes is a multilayered examination of sexual politics and power dynamics. But the whole thing is paper-thin and comes across as little more than a half-baked erotic thriller. There are efforts to challenge our notions of complicity and make us question who’s to blame – the feckless attention-starved Jonathan or the overly cryptic and sexually charged Cairo. But too many details are missing, and too much time is wasted on side stories that go nowhere, such as the seductive cat-and-mouse game between Cairo’s notoriously flirtatious best friend Winnie (Gideon Adlon) and a coach (Bashir Salahuddin).

To their credit, Freeman and Ortega navigate the shaky material the best they can, almost convincing us to buy into their characters. But even they can’t add bite to a mostly toothless story that’s not nearly as prickly or as uncomfortable as it should be. Bartlett shows she has a knack with the camera and we get flashes of ambition that you don’t always see from first-time filmmakers. But her story and her characters need a more focused script – one that would give the time and attention necessary to make a movie like this have the impact it should. “Miller’s Girl” opens in theaters Friday, January 26th.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

The latest popular movie from the past to get a modern-day makeover is “Mean Girls”. The 2004 teen comedy was a big hit with audiences and critics, eventually spawning a made-for-television sequel and even a Broadway musical. Now co-directors Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr. have brought us a 2024 big screen update that’s based on the stage adaptation of the original 2004 hit movie. And all of it is based on Rosalind Wiseman’s 2002 book “Queen Bees and Wannabes”. Confusing?

“Mean Girls” 2024 sets out to mix its teen comedy roots with snazzy musical numbers but the results aren’t great. The screenplay by Tina Fey taps into a few things that long-time fans might appreciate. But overall it’s a wildly uneven film, hampered by flaccid attempts at humor and songs with no resonance whatsoever. Even worse are the characters – a woeful collection of shallow teens who leave you worried for the future of whatever world they live in.

The film stars Angourie Rice, a good young actress who deserves better than what she gets here. She plays Cady Heron, a smart and formerly homeschooled teenager attending her first day at North Shore High School. The filmmakers go out of their way to make Cady as uncomfortable as possible, immediately overwhelming her through the cult-like stares from the students and the exaggerated cliques that no normal person would fit in with. But two best friends and (kinda) loners, Janis (Chloe Auliʻi Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey) take Cady under their wings and show her the ropes.

But Cady’s high school experience takes a dramatic turn after she’s noticed by three rich, snooty, and ultra popular girls dubbed The Plastics. They’re led by the “Queen Bee” of the group and the school, Regina George (Reneé Rapp). Following her around like puppies is the idolizer Gretchen (Bebe Wood) and the ditzy Karen (Avantika). Cady’s “friendship” with Regina leads to a boost in her own popularity and status. But when Regina finds out Cady is crushing on her ex-boyfriend Aaron (Christopher Briney), things get a little nasty.

From there the bulk of the movie follows the friends-turned-enemies as they both dole out various forms of payback. And that’s really the movie in a nutshell. It seems to relish the meanness, to the point of nearly forgetting the more thoughtful themes that deal with bullying, peer pressure, etc. It’s only in the last ten minutes or so that we get an overtly tidy finish reminding everyone to be nice to each other. Hardly what you would call a convincing conviction.

Jayne and Perez Jr. try and capture the spirit of “Mean Girls” but all they can manage is a grating, uninspired pastiche. The music numbers only complicate matters, ranging from mediocre to dreadful. Altogether the movie plays like a current-day ABC Afterschool Special, littered with groan-inducing TikTok reels and second-rate MTV music videos. There are some terrific voices (Rapp can flat-out belt). But the songs tend to be forgettable at best and annoyingly distracting at worst.

“Mean Girls” ends up being a toothless retread that feels custom-made for the January dumping ground. The teen comedy side of it offers little in terms of laughs and gives us nothing to chew on. And rather than energizing this unfortunate reincarnation, the consistently underwhelming song choices and musical numbers weigh the film down. Fey, Tim Meadows, Jon Hamm, and Ashley Park offer some star wattage in their utterly thankless roles. But they can’t save this mess of an adaptation that fumbles pretty much everything it’s trying to remake and recapture. “Mean Girls” is in theaters now.

VERDICT – 1.5 STARS