Well, it’s an imperfect world so I guess it makes sense that not all movies are perfect. Some are merely very good, fair, or downright crap. Today we’re looking at the dregs of the 2015 movie year, the bottom feeders, the lowest of the low. Overall it was a good year for movies particularly in the last quarter, but that didn’t stop these abominations from staining the year that was.
#5 – “The Gunman”
There was something off about “The Gunman” going all the way back to its first trailer. I think it was the idea of Sean Penn playing a gun-toting action hero. Well whatever it was I call it prophetic. The entire movie is ‘off’ and that’s being kind. Penn is never convincing. He seems more interested in showing off his freshly carved physique than telling a good story. And he never looks interested in what he’s doing. Instead he has an ever-present sour facial expression that looks like he ate some bad sushi. Penn is boring. The action is boring. The so called political message is boring. “The Gunman” is boring.
#4 – “The Boy Next Door”
Another year and another crappy J-Lo movie. I’ve always thought Jennifer Lopez was a better actress that her movies suggest, but I’m honestly starting to second guess myself. “The Boy Next Door” does her no favors. This ‘thriller’ starts off with a tingle of promise but it squanders it within minutes becoming a predictable and dumb exercise in tedium. It’s too absurd to be taken seriously and too serious to be good campy fun. The ending is the cake topper – a completely idiotic finale that leaves more gaping plot holes than answers. A total waste of time.
#3 – “The Ridiculous 6”
What would a ‘Worst of’ list be without an Adam Sandler movie? This serving of Sandler’s annualized cinematic slop ventures into the Old West, but aside from that there’s no difference between this and the normal garbage he churns out. Sandler and his usual cronies follow the same formula of dopey characters, overused juvenile gags, and general lazy humor. The sad thing is “The Ridiculous 6” will have a following. It will make a profit. Some people will think it’s funny. And ultimately that will be enough to encourage another movie of this type for next year. Ugh!
#2 – “Fantastic Four”
Talk about a trainwreck from its inception. The Fantastic Four aren’t exactly box office gold to begin with, but this was a film riddled with odd decision-making from the start. The casting intrigued some but felt terribly off to me. I also wasn’t big on Josh Trank who I feel gets too much credit for his overpraised “Chronicle”. Both concerns proved to be valid. None of the cast feel comfortable or even engaged and Trank’s direction is all over the map. And then there is the story itself, a clumsy and painfully dull slog. Hardly anything works in this series death knell.
#1 – “Mortdecai”
Leave it to Johnny Depp to give us something worse than any of the above disasters. You would think his career would be bruised by the number of painfully bad film choices he has made, but I’m not sure that’s the case. “Mortdecai” is probably the worst of the bunch. From start to finish “Mortdecai” feels like some kind of weird disjointed in-joke and the audience are never let in on it. The gags are appallingly unfunny, the dialogue is lifeless, and Depp’s attempt at quirky humor is inane and frankly quite embarrassing. There are some talented people in its cast, but when the material is this dreadful it just doesn’t matter.