REVIEW: “Expendables 4” (2023)

I’m not sure how big of a demand there was for another Expendables movie. Yet here we are. To their credit, the first two films were quite fun, especially for those of us who relished in the glory days of the over-the-top action flicks from the 80s and early 90s. Unfortunately the third movie milked the formula dry while softening to a PG-13 rating in hopes of appealing to a wider audience. It didn’t work.

Now after nearly ten years Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and an ensemble of their old and new friends are giving it another whirl with “Expendables 4” (or “Expend4bles” for cooler (?) cosmetic reasons). Director Scott Waugh and the screenwriting trio of Spenser Cohen, Tad Daggerhart, and Max Adams set out to make another throwback action movie more in line with the franchise’s first two installments (it even glibly advertises its R rating just so fans will know they’re not going easy).

Image Courtesy of Lionsgate

What we end up with is a hefty serving of unabashed fan food. It’s a movie meal custom-cooked for fans and it should satisfy the appetites of those hungry for more goofy banter and gleefully violent action. At the same time, “Expend4bles” is all but certain to turn off those who tend to look down on these kinds of films or who have no affinity or attachment to their genre roots. Personally I like that it never pretends to be anything other than what it is. It ends up being pretty much what I signed up for. But that doesn’t mean it’s not without its flaws.

While Stallone’s aged mercenary Barney Ross has always been the heart and soul of the series, it’s Statham’s perpetually grumpy Lee Christmas who takes the lead in this new bullet-riddled adventure. Series stalwarts Dolph Lundgren and Randy Couture return (but sadly no Terry Crews or Jet Li) while Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Megan Fox, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, and Andy Garcia add some fresh albeit less interesting blood to the team.

Laying out the story seems rather pointless considering everything is mainly there to setup the action. What story we do get is pretty silly and safe. Barney’s Expendables are sent on a mission to stop a former British national turned arms dealer (Iko Uwais) from nabbing some nuclear detonators and starting World War III. The mission goes bad and the team gets shaken up. But soon the good guys are back on the trail of the big bad guy, this time with a little personal vengeance as a motivation.

Image Courtesy of Lionsgate

And that’s the story in a nutshell. There is a whole subplot involving some mysterious evil antagonist who goes by Ocelot. But it’s so woefully underdeveloped that it never registers as remotely interesting or important. It’s the same for the new team members. Jackson is a solid enough fit and Fox (when not serving as glaringly obvious eye candy) gels surprisingly well with her mostly male counterparts. But they all feel thrown in rather than developed. And the performances overall are a mixed bag, and not just from the newbies.

Yet the movie delivers where it counts – in the action. A few scenes of laughably evident green screen aside, Waugh gives his audience exactly what anyone going to an Expendables movie should expect – playful macho banter, corny one-liners, and tons of bullets, blades, and bodies. Statham gets the most room to shine and Tony Jaa pops up and is let loose in the second half. They can’t cover all the blemishes (and there are several), but they help to remind us of what makes these cockamamie creations click. “Expend4bles” hits theaters today.

VERDICT – 3 STARS

REVIEW: “Simulant” (2023)

Having a cracking concept can be a hard thing to live up to. Case in point – “Simulant”, a science-fiction thriller built around a slightly familiar yet generally intriguing premise. It’s an entertaining enough feature film, but one that has a tough time maintaining the kind of energy and tension it wants. Not all of its pieces fit together and it lacks a few key ingredients to make it stand out. Still, a solid cast and an impressive production value help overcome its handful of noticeable limitations.

Director April Mullen, working from a script by Ryan Christopher Churchill, does a good job creating and developing a not-so-distant future where technology has advanced but humanity’s fallibility still leaves its mark. It’s a world where humans co-exist with humanoid creations called simulants. The early generation models are obviously synthetic and are relegated to mere service work. But the newer models as so realistic they’re virtually indistinguishable from humans.

Concerned over a growing autonomy among the newer model simulants, ACE (Artificial-Intelligence Compliance Enforcement) was formed to ensure simulants followed their programming (mainly to never harm humans and to obey their human owners). Among ACE’s most dogged agents is Kessler (Sam Worthington) who is driven by a personal tragedy to prove that simulants are ignoring their programming and pose a serious threat. He believes a simulant named Esmé (Alicia Sanz) and her relationship with the mysterious Casey (Simu Liu) is key to uncovering the truth.

Meanwhile a wealthy artist named Faye (Jordana Brewster) and her dutiful husband Evan (Robbie Amell) live a comfortable and seemingly loving life together. But they have a not-so-well-concealed secret (revealed within the first 30 minutes) that eventually connects them with Casey and Kessler. From there the story slowly morphs into a somewhat lukewarm mystery that opens up some interesting questions without ever offering any thought-provoking answers.

Yet Mullen and Churchill keep their audience involved even if the rather ambiguous payoff doesn’t exactly blow our socks off. There are some crafty ideas and even occasional glimmers of brilliance. But it shows its cards early and everything afterwards plays out pretty much the way we expect. Even worse, the stakes never feel as high as they’re meant to. So even though the movie does a good job holding our attention, we never feel the gravity of anything. That’s the biggest weight holding this solid but underwhelming effort down. “Simulant” is now available on VOD and streaming on Hulu.

VERDICT – 2.5 STARS

First Glance: “Dream Scenario”

One thing about Nicolas Cage, he’s certainly not afraid to work. That has led to a a near assembly line of movies (five this year alone), many of which aren’t what you would call stellar quality. Yet this has also helped give him a cult status among moviegoers. It’s hard not to enjoy the wackiness that is Nicolas Cage. But it’s easy to forget that Cage is also a really good actor. He reminds us of that from time to time and it looks like he may be doing it again with “Dream Scenario”.

This new off-beat comedy from writer-director Kristoffer Borgli premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival and is now set to be released by A24. It sees Cage playing a homely college professor who suddenly gains celebrity status after he begins appearing in everyone’s dreams. The trailer reveals a movie that looks really unique and a lot of fun. I’m excited to see how this thing plays out.

“Dream Scenario” hits theaters on November 10th. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you’ll be seeing it or taking a pass.

REVIEW: “Slotherhouse” (2023)

It should go without saying, but with a title like “Slotherhouse” audiences should know exactly what kind of movie they’re in for. The filmmakers aren’t hiding anything. They’re giddily conscious of the kind of movie they’re making. And it’s that brazen (and utterly delightful) self-awareness that makes this unapologetically silly horror-comedy work way more than it should.

Directed by Matthew Goodhue and written for the screen by Bradley Fowler, “Slotherhouse” brings back memories from the 1980s when perusing the sizable horror section at our local video rental store became a weekly ritual. The colorful VHS boxes for countless B-movie horror flicks just like “Slotherhouse” lined the shelves and I can’t tell you how many I watched (some multiple times over). So there’s a natural draw that makes movies like this hard for me to resist.

“Slotherhouse” borrows from all kinds of movies from the horror and teen comedy genres and it does so with a twinkle in its eye. One of the things that makes it so funny is that everyone plays it straight which actually makes the film’s utterly bonkers premise stand out even more. Think about it – a killer sloth carving up college girls at a sorority house pretty much speaks for itself.

Image Courtesy of Gravitas Ventures

Whether they’re attacked by natural predators or hunted by human invaders, life can be tough for the notoriously slow-moving and easy-going tree sloths in the rain forests of Panama. Take the one we see in the opening scene (a hilariously obvious puppet that coos like a human baby). She’s minding her own business in her natural habitat before being tranquilized and nabbed by a poacher. She ends up in the hands of a slimy trader (Stefan Kapicic) who illegally buys and sells wild animals in the United States. But here’s the thing, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill tree sloth.

Meanwhile Emily (Lisa Ambalavanar) and her best friend Madison (Olivia Rouyre) are preparing for their senior year at college. But rather than thinking about classes, graduation, and her future, Emily is more concerned with her pitiful social media follower count and with impressing her sorority sisters. Soon she’s butting heads with the popular and profoundly obnoxious Brianna (Sydney Craven), the resident mean girl with a gaggle of acolytes who do her bidding.

I’ll skip the details, but Emily’s obsession with being popular leads to her “acquiring” the sloth, naming it Alpha, and introducing it as the new sorority house mascot. What could possibly wrong? Well for starters, remember that bit about this not being your run-of-the-mill sloth? That’s something the girls of Sigma Lambda Theta violently and often hilariously learn that the hard way.

Image Courtesy of Gravitas Ventures

To no surprise there are numerous things in the story that make no sense at all. Characters routinely make dumb choices, gaping plot holes abound, obvious questions never get answered. But to be fair, measuring the logic of a movie like this seems utterly pointless. And that gets to the comedy side. A big part of the fun I had with “Slotherhouse” was laughing at these glaring “issues”. The filmmakers know what they’re doing and getting that kind of audience interaction is exactly what they want.

All of that said, “Slotherhouse” does have its faults which no amount of over-the-top absurdity can cover. While there is plenty of fun to be found throughout the movie, it has to really stretch itself to fill 93 minutes. It ends up spending too much time on sorority girl drama which frankly isn’t that interesting. Also (and I don’t say this often) the movie is hampered by its PG-13 rating. So much of the potentially good stuff happens off screen. I can only imagine how ridiculously gonzo this thing could have gotten if the film had really went for it.

Yet I sit her typing this review with a smile on my face, remembered the incredibly silly and laugh-out-loud moments scattered all throughout this truly wacky concoction. Goodhue and Fowler definitely succeed in putting together a preposterous genre cocktail, custom-made for a late-night viewing in a dark theater with an all-in crowd. It makes for a pretty good evening at home on the couch as well. “Slotherhouse” opens September 19th in select theaters and on VOD.

VERDICT – 3 STARS

First Glance: “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom”

It goes without saying that the state of DC superhero movies isn’t great. Whether it’s good movies like “The Flash” and “Shazam! Fury of the Gods” or a not so good movie like “Blue Beetle”, Warner Bros. is struggling to find an audience for their DC releases (there are several frustrating reasons why, but I’ll save that for another day). “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” seeks to remedy that. Its predecessor made over $1.1 billion at the box office. It’s hard to see the sequel matching those numbers.

All that downer stuff aside, I really liked the first Aquaman and all I want from its follow-up is more of the same fun and wacky flavor. The long-awaited first trailer certainly promises that. Director James Wan and screenwriter David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick return, as does the film’s fun-loving star Jason Momoa, reprising his role as Arthur Curry. Also returning is Patrick Wilson as Arthur’s brother Orm and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as the revenge-fueled Black Manta. Temuera Morrison, Nicole Kidman, and Amber Heard are also back. I really like this gonzo first look, and I hope the movie is as crazy as it looks.

“Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” swims into theaters on December 20th. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you’ll be seeing it or taking a pass.

REVIEW: “A Haunting in Venice” (2023)

Kenneth Branagh’s spin on Agatha Christie’s Belgian super-sleuth Hercule Poirot has grown into a full-fledged film series and I couldn’t be happier. Branagh has directed and starred in two previous Poirot whodunnits starting with 2017’s “Murder on the Orient Express” which was followed it with 2022’s “Death on the Nile”. Both were entertaining star-studded movies that played like delightfully fun relics of a bygone movie era.

Branagh’s third venture into Poirot’s world of mystery and murder is “A Haunting in Venice”, another tasty period feature yet one with a supernatural twist. It’s based on Christie’s 1969 novel “Hallowe’en Party” and once again brings together an intriguing ensemble that includes Tina Fey, Jamie Dornan, Michelle Yeoh, Kelly Reilly, Kyle Allen, Camille Cottin, Jude Hill, Emma Laird, Riccardo Scamarcio, and Ali Khan.

Image Courtesy of 20th Century Studios

Set in 1947, we first meet Hercule Poirot (once again played with steely charm and sophistication by Branagh) tucked away in Venice where he pretends to enjoy his retirement from detective work. One day he’s surprised by an old friend, Ariadne Oliver (Fey). She’s a successful American mystery novelist who’s in Venice to attend a séance being performed by a self-proclaimed medium named Joyce Reynolds (Yeoh). Ariadne is out to expose Reynolds as a fraud and maybe get a little inspiration for her new novel.

Ariadne convinces the skeptical and reclusive Poirot to loosen up, get out of the house, and accompany her to the séance. It’s being held at a creepy old palazzo owned by Rowena Drake (Reilly), a grieving mother who desperately wants to make contact with her recently deceased daughter Alicia. Joining them is an eclectic array of guests including Alicia’s former doctor Leslie Ferrier (Dornan) and his precocious young son Leopold (Hill), Rowena’s superstitious housekeeper Olga (Cottin), and Alicia’s pompous ex-fiancé Maxime (Allen) among others.

Returning screenwriter Michael Green does a good job opening up his characters. He gives each of them their own nicely defined personalities and histories. Most importantly, after one among them winds up dead, Green gives them all believable motives. And in a snap we have ourselves a good ol’ mystery and it’s up to Poirot to sort through the conflicting stories to find the murderer. But what’s with the creepy voices and shifting shadows? Could something supernatural be to blame?

Image Courtesy of 20th Century Studios

The movie has fun toying with the horror genre, but it’s never what I would call scary. That said, Branagh does create a genuinely spooky atmosphere with the help of some nice production design, terrific cinematography from Haris Zambarloukos, and the sparse yet ever eerie score from Oscar winner Hildur Guðnadóttir. But the film also has a subtle sense of humor which comes out at some of the most unexpected times.

Yet at its core “A Haunting in Venice” remains a straight-up whodunnit and everything (the horror bits included) feeds into that ambition. Branagh once again proves to be the right fit for these films, both in front of and behind the camera. Will the film find an audience? That’s the big question, especially in this frustratingly fickle box office world we currently exist in. I hope it does. Branagh now sits 3 for 3 in his Poirot universe, and I for one hope there will be more of these films coming down the pipeline. “A Haunting in Venice” opens today exclusively in theaters.

VERDICT – 4 STARS