I think by now even the most hardcore fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe would have to admit that the once dominating phenomenon has lost some steam. For many people MCU movies once felt like events and audiences couldn’t wait for the next chapter to hit the big screen. But over-saturation, bad choices, and even worse ambitions has led to an uninteresting, unfocused, and overstuffed mess that hasn’t felt on track since “Avengers: Endgame”.

But that hasn’t stopped Disney’s Marvel machine. Yet another shining example of the MCU’s current state is “The Marvels”, a $275 million cosmic girl-power adventure directed by relative newcomer Nia DaCosta. This is only DaCosta’s third feature with her most prominent prior work being 2021’s underwhelming “Candyman” sequel. Obviously there’s risk in investing that much money in inexperience and we should know this weekend if their gamble paid off. But money talk aside, it’s the movie that we should be looking at and sadly it’s not very good.

The trailers for “The Marvels” weren’t that encouraging and watching a slew of lackluster Disney+ streaming shows just to keep up has long lost its appeal. Yet that’s what the movie demands and even then I’m not sure that what we get makes much sense. And that’s just one of several nagging frustrations that make “The Marvels” as bland, clunky and uneven as most of the other post-Endgame material that has came and went before it.

Written by DaCosta, Megan McDonnell, and Elissa Karasik, “The Marvels” is a scattershot mess of a movie. It’s hampered by a jumbled narrative, uninspired CGI, and yet another wafer-thin villain. The movie is tonally schizophrenic and is constantly straining for laughs or applause. But worst of all, it does nothing to build excitement for the current state of the MCU nor does it build much anticipation for things to come (despite a pretty cool mid-credits scene that’s meant to do just that).

“The Marvels” leans heaviest on the so-so chemistry of its three central characters, Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris), and Kamala Khan (Iman Vellani). Together the three have a handful of good moments and the actresses certainly give it their all. But because of the numbingly bad writing, they aren’t the most compelling trio. Carol has been established as a powerful MCU superhero. But here she spends much of the time bemused and even aimless. There’s not much to say about Monica as most of her MCU development has happened offscreen. And call me a bad guy, but a little of the starry-eyed Kamala Kahn goes a long way.

As for the story, there’s not much to latch onto. Basically Carol, Monica, and Kamala are brought together after their exposure to a potent energy causes them to switch places whenever they use their powers (or at least sometimes when they use their powers). Meanwhile the film’s horribly underwritten villain, Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton) Is running around ripping holes in space and stealing resources from planets that Carol holds dear. We learn there’s some bad blood between them and Dar-Benn (of course) wants revenge.

About the closest we get to a human heartbeat involves some sad history between Carol and Monica. But it’s barely an emotional blip in a movie that is essentially a handful of action scenes stitched together by bad characterizations, poor attempts at comedy (most from Samuel L. Jackson’s returning but wasted Nick Fury), and dull exposition full of cosmic mumbo-jumbo about quantum bands, a “Universal Weapon”, ruptures in space-time, etc. etc. etc. Oh, and there’s a weird planet where people only speak in song – a true low point in the movie and for what passes as creativity within the current MCU.

Not to pile on, but there also several baffling oversights such as head-scratching time lapses, Kamala’s vanishing outfit (I’ll let you discover that one), and perhaps craziest of all, the unintentionally hilarious ending that basically renders everything before it unnecessary. It leaves you wondering how such a big-budget project was allowed to release in such a state.

The movie wastes no time trying to divert our attention away from “The Marvels” and point us forward with an eye-rolling final scene that may excite die-hards and a mid-credits scene that teases some potentially cool things IF you still have faith that Kevin Feige and the MCU can deliver. Admittedly my faith had already waned and “The Marvels” only reassured my disillusion. But for others, if you can set your expectations low enough you might find some disposable entertainment in “The Marvels”. But that in itself is sad. Especially for those of us who once anxiously counted the days to every new MCU release. Those days seem so long ago. “The Marvels” open in theaters today.

VERDICT – 1.5 STARS