“Chum” may be the most hilariously obvious title for a movie you’ll see all year, especially when you consider it’s a sharksploitation movie. Mixing bloody horror with thriller elements, sharksploitation has quickly developed into a genre all its own. Unfortunately the quality of the films being churned out as of late makes you wonder how long this genre will stay afloat. That is especially true for the astonishingly bad “Chum”.

Director and co-writer Jonathan Zuck takes a handful of well-worn ideas and a noticeably small budget to create “Chum”. Making a movie independently with very few resources is always impressive and admirable. Unfortunately “Chum” is a mess of a movie that struggles to function in its filmmaking and storytelling. And no matter how hard it tries (and to its credit, it really does try), the film delivers nothing in the way of legitimate thrills.

We meet Tina (Alice Eve) and Tom (Eric Michael Cole) at their lavish wedding reception in Malta. The two may have just exchanged their vows, but there is clearly a tension between them. We later find out why. Tina has been offered partner at her law firm. And she’ll be fast-tracked if she secures drilling leases in Alaska for a major oil company. Tom is an investment banker turned environmental crusader who is vehemently against her working on behalf of her client.

But for some reason they get married anyway, despite both being miserable. Even more, they reluctantly go out on a three-hour catamaran excursion planned and paid for by Tom’s best man, Rick (Johnny Gaffney). Joining the unhappy couple and Rick are their friends, Rachinda (Sarah Siadat) and Brittany (Lisa Yard), along with Tina’s moody and unsupportive younger sister, Sadie (Elle Haymond). Aside from their marriage woes, Tina is hesitant to go due to reports of an increase in shark attacks. But the Captain reassures her with a kiss of death – “There’s never been a shark attack in these waters.”

Sure enough, a ferocious man-eating shark attacks leading to a hilarious string of mishaps that leaves the Captain seriously injured and the boat on the verge of sinking. Thankfully they’re spotted by a fisherman named Roy (Jim Klock) who gets them to his boat as the digitalized shark circles them all in search of his next computer-generated meal. But as it turns out, Roy has a painful history with this particular shark. And the frightened friends quickly learn that Roy will do anything to get revenge for what the shark took from him.

Zuck and his co-writer Joe Leone throw us a twist that might be more effective if we hadn’t seen a variation of it in another shark movie just last year. But that aside, the film’s other problems mount fast. The performances are unconvincing at best as the cast tries to make something out of the clunky material. Their characters often sound like they’re reading off a page and their actions can be utterly baffling. And it doesn’t help that it all has the emotional impact of a cinder block. Nothing feels authentic or investment worthy.

Technically, it’s not much better. The ‘action’ scenes are littered with jarring cuts and odd uses of slow-motion. And the digital shark never looks real enough to be menacing. To cap it all off, the film ends with some awkwardly on-the-nose messaging that sinks any part of the movie that was left afloat. It’s a shame because a lot of effort went into getting the film made in spite of an obviously small amount of resources. But sadly nothing really works in this baffling misfire, which makes a lot of bad shark movies suddenly look better.

VERDICT – 1 STAR