Author Archives: Keith Garlington

REVIEW: “Anaconda” (2025)

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I’m not sure anyone in 1997 expected us to still be talking about “Anaconda” nearly thirty years later. The original feature was an adventure horror film with Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, and Owen Wilson making up its cast. Certainly to my surprise, the film became a cult classic, spawning three sequels and a wacky 2015 crossover with “Lake Placid”.

And now here we are with a new film, also titled “Anaconda”. This one is an action comedy that can be best described as a meta reboot of the original 1997 film. Director Tom Gormican (who also co-wrote the script with Kevin Etten) attempts to tap into the nostalgia that some people apparently have for “Anaconda”. But he does so through a movie that lacks the laughs necessary for good comedy and the thrills you look for in good action.

Image Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

Growing up as best buddies in Buffalo, Griff (Paul Rudd) and Doug (Jack Black) dreamed of making movies together. When they got older, Griff moved to California to pursue acting, but his career never took off. Doug stayed behind where he ended up getting a job making wedding videos. Neither are happy with how their lives have turned out. But that has a chance to change when Griff shows up back in Buffalo with an outrageous idea.

Griff informs Doug and their childhood friends Claire (Thandiwe Newton) and Kenny (Steve Zahn) that he has acquired the rights to their favorite movie, “Anaconda”. Even more, it has inspired him to reboot the 1997 film with him starring, Doug directing, Claire co-starring and securing funding, and Kenny shooting it. It takes some convincing, but his friends eventually get onboard. And after Doug pens the script, the four head off to the Amazon rainforest.

Once in Brazil, our filmmaking foursome meet their eccentric snake handler, Santiago (Selton Mello) who accompanies them into the jungle to begin shooting. But things come to a halt after Griff panics and accidentally kills Santiago’s snake. While searching the jungle for a replacement, the group is suddenly attacked by an enormous anaconda, putting them in the same predicament as the characters in the movie they’re rebooting.

The sheer absurdity of it all isn’t really an issue, mainly due to the film’s obvious self-awareness. Instead the problems lie in the half-baked storytelling which is sloppy at best and incoherent at worst. The script takes numerous shortcuts leading to moments that make no sense at all. Adding to the messiness is an entire side story(ish) about a young woman named Ana (Daniela Melchior) on the run from some illegal gold miners. You could cut it out entirely and the movie wouldn’t be impacted at all.

Image Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

But worse than anything else is sitting through a “comedy” that is woefully unfunny. It tries really hard, but its attempts generated mostly silence rather than laughter at the screening I attended. We do get the occasionally amusing inside gag that’s having fun at Hollywood’s expense. But too much of the humor never registers, often ranging from bland parody to more embarrassingly juvenile bits.

As for the stars, Rudd is dealt an especially shallow hand. Black does his usual thing but to no avail. Zahn’s character is nothing more than a pill-popping moron. And Newton feels like a tag-along who’s given nothing to do. Together, the cast’s efforts can’t save a movie that runs out of gas early before having to be dragged across the finish line. Even needle-drops from Credence Clearwater Revival, Motley Crue, and AC/DC feel weird and out of place in this unfortunate misfire.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

Merry Christmas!

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No movie news, reviews, or previews today. Just me taking some time to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. It’s hard to believe it’s that time of year again. I hope you all have a wonderful time of fellowship with family and/or friends, a big hearty meal to fill up on, and at least a movie or two wrapped up under your tree.

I’m so very appreciative of everyone who has taken the time to visit the site, read a review, make a comment, or engage in any way over the last year. This has been the site’s biggest year in terms of traffic and I can’t thank you all enough for that.

As for what’s ahead, I still have a couple more 2025 movie reviews to put the finishing touches on, and I already have my first 2026 movie review written up. But before any of that, I hope to have my year-end Top 10 Films of 2025 feature posted possibly as early as this weekend. Excited to hear what everyone thinks of it.

Until then, have a safe and blessed holiday season. Thank you again for making this little old site so fun and fulfilling.

KG

REVIEW: “Beast of War” (2025)

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Writer-director Kiah Roache-Turner surprises with “Beast of War”, a movie that slickly balances World War II and sharksploitation. Yep, “Beast of War” is indeed set during the Second World War. But at its core it’s a shark movie through and through. And a really good one at that. It’s all due to Roache-Turner’s firm grasp of his characters and the genres he’s working in. And he’s helped by strong, committed performances from an ensemble who know their assignment.

The first good sign comes in the film’s prologue. While it’s nothing profoundly original, Roache-Turner puts time into his characters, introducing them through their stint in boot camp. Set in 1942, a group of young and enthusiastic Australian soldiers are preparing to go to war. When not in weapons training or running drills, they crack jokes, get into scraps, play rugby, and flirt with the camp’s nurses. As we meet them, some dance a little close to caricature, but never enough to become an issue. Instead these early scenes add weight to the carnage to come.

Image Courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment

Standing out in the ragtag unit is Leo (Mark Cole Smith), a strong and dutiful indigenous soldier who only gets one-third the pay the white soldiers get and endures constant jeering from the unit’s bigoted loudmouth Des (Sam Delich). But Leo quickly wins over the other troops with his humanity and fortitude. He has no problem taking up for himself, but his toughness is tempered with compassion that shows itself when he takes a struggling squadmate named Will (Joel Nankervis) under his wing.

Things ramp up once the soldiers are deployed. As they’re being transported across the Timor Sea, their battleship is suddenly attacked by Japanese planes and immediately sunk. Only eight soldiers survive, with three of them badly wounded. They end up floating on a small metal section of the ship’s hull, consumed by a dense fog bank. It’s here that the survival movie angle kicks into gear. But our eight soldiers soon learn they have more to worry about than food, water, and medical attention.

Led by Leo, the survivors begin putting together a plan. But they’re interrupted when a monstrous great white shark bursts from the water and chomps down on a soldier, pulling him into the water (a proudly obvious but effective tip of the hat to Spielberg’s “Jaws”). From there Roache-Turner leans into the sharksploitation, putting together one harrowing ‘man-vs-beast’ encounter after another.

Image Courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment

To the film’s credit, it avoids turning into one vicious shark attack after another. In fact, despite being stranded on a piece of metal floating in the sea, Roache-Turner finds countless creative ways to off the soldiers. No two deaths happen the same way. And he doesn’t shy away from cranking up the B-movie gore. But it’s the practical effects that are so impressive, from the grisly carnage to the magnificent half-ton animatronic shark itself. It’s a choice that pays massive dividends.

The strikingly cinematic “Beast of War” delivers everything a genre-lover would want and expect. At the same time, Roache-Turner brings along his own playbook which keeps the movie from simply being more of the same. It’s strengthened by sturdy performances (especially from Smith), solid character work, and masterful practical effects. There are even bursts of unexpected humor, often from the most unexpected places. And it’s all packaged in a tight but fluid 87 minutes which keeps this lean, no-nonsense genre-bender focused and on point.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

REVIEW: “The Housemaid” (2025)

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Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried square off in Paul Feig’s “The Housemaid”, a movie that starts off as a fun campy throwback before nosediving in its final act by taking the cheapest and most predictable route available. It’s a shame because Feig has all the ingredients he needs, from a game cast to a genre formula that audiences tend to enjoy. But all of its entertaining buildup is wasted on a ridiculous and trite final act that narratively and thematically rehashes ideas we’ve seen several times before.

In fairness, “The Housemaid” is based on Freida McFadden’s 2022 novel of the same name and from all indications it sticks pretty close to the book’s central story. But if you’re unfamiliar with the novel and hoping for a movie with the slightest original punch, you might leave this adaptation disappointed. For me, seeing potential squandered for something this obvious is more frustrating than disappointing.

Image Courtesy of Lionsgate

Sweeney plays a young woman named Millie Calloway who we first meet as she’s arriving at a lavish estate in Great Neck, New York. There she meets Nina Winchester (Seyfried), a wealthy wife and mother who has invited Millie to interview for a live-in housemaid position. It’s an important opportunity for Millie who isn’t quite who she claims to be. While she hides it from Nina, we learn Millie is fresh out of prison after serving ten years of a fifteen-year sentence for a crime which comes to light later. And she needs a steady job to meet the requirements of her parole.

Millie gets hired and wastes no time moving into a cramped A-frame attic space in the Winchester’s home. The converted bedroom isn’t much, but it beats sleeping out of her car. Millie is also introduced to Nina’s young daughter Cece (Indiana Elle) and her hunky husband Andrew (Brandon Sklenar). It looks like the ideal scenario for Millie. Cleaning, organizing, some light cooking, and helping with Cece in exchange for living in a nice house with a nice family for a nice salary.

But of course Millie’s scenario turns out to be far from ideal. It starts with Nina’s wild fits of rage. She then begins lashing out at Millie, blaming her for things she hasn’t done. Things get even more twisted when Nina begins framing Millie to make her look foolish. In normal circumstances, Millie would quit on the spot. But she desperately needs the job to stay out of prison. Thankfully she finds an ally in the endlessly charming Andrew who routinely steps in to reassure and reinforce Millie with his dreamy eyes and winning smile.

Image Courtesy of Lionsgate

Without giving too much away, screenwriter Rebecca Sonnenshine wastes no time ratcheting up the drama before eventually turning the story on its head. Seyfried does unhinged well while Sweeney wins our sympathy and our suspicion. But neither performance hits every right note, mostly due the material. The script cunningly pushes both characters to their breaking point only to undo its own good work with a lame reveal that’s more interested in being relevant than original.

Sadly the predictable big twist lets all the air out of “The Housemaid”. Not only does it sour the good stuff that came before it, but it kills the film’s finish where things get wackier and bloodier. But even without the story’s eye-rolling “surprise”, the final 20 minutes are a wobbly mess. It’s an ending littered with arbitrary actions, an overly long explain-it-all flashback, and a final scene with ludicrous implications. But to be honest, by that point it didn’t really matter. The damage had already been done.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

REVIEW: “Avatar: Fire and Ash” (2025)

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It goes without saying, but there will be a lot of eyes on “Avatar: Fire and Ash”. And they will be watching for a number of reasons. For fans, it will be for another chance to visit the breathtaking world of Pandora. For tech lovers, it’s to see how James Cameron once again pushes technical boundaries. For box office prognosticators, it will be to see if Cameron’s third Avatar movie can hit the $2 billion+ mark like its predecessors. For the studio, it’s to see if it makes enough money to green-light the final two films in Cameron’s groundbreaking franchise.

After the enormous success of 2009’s “Avatar”, it took the franchise’s creative mastermind James Cameron thirteen years to make and release its sequel, “The Way of Water”. To many people’s surprise (more specifically, my own), the second film was also a major box office success, clearing over $2.3 billion at the box office. It was also an incredible cinematic experience that not only expanded the Avatar universe, but made the narratively shaky first film better.

“The Way of Water” once again delivered cutting-edge action sequences and world-building. But its story shifted its focus to family and all of its complexity as seen through the lenses of love, loyalty, sacrifice, and tragedy. “Fire and Ash” sees Cameron picking up where he left off, with Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldaña) navigating their family through grief following a devastating loss. And while they’ve found a home with the aquatic Metkayina clan, that doesn’t lessen the blow of losing one of their own.

Image Courtesy of 20th Century Studios

Cameron’s script (which he co-write with Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver) expands the drama within the Sully family, adding more depth and conflict to the relationships that flourished in the previous film. Back is Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), Jake and Neytiri’s adopted daughter with a special unrealized bond to the planet; Lo’ak (Britain Dalton), the middle child who also serves as the film’s occasional narrator; and Tuk (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss), their birth daughter and youngest child.

Each member of the Sully family is mourning in their own way. Jake spends his time keeping busy rather than facing his grief. Neytiri has shut herself off and is slowly being consumed by hate. Lo’ak is overwhelmed with guilt, believing his actions led to the previous film’s tragedy. Kiri is struggling to find her purpose while wondering if she could have done more. And Tuk is lost among her grieving family and unsure how to process everything she is witnessing.

Also returning is the Sully family’s chief antagonist, the obsessed Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang). Once the human military commander who brutally oversaw the colonization of Pandora, Quaritch is now a Na’vi mercenary who is still persecuting the native tribes, all in the name of revenge. But this time he has found a formidable ally in Varang (Oona Chaplin), the hardened leader of the volcano-dwelling Mangkwan clan. While she isn’t fleshed out as much as she could be, her goal is clear – to spread her fire across Pandora.

The story’s wild card is Spider (Jack Champion), the human son of Quaritch who was taken in by Jake and Neytiri after his ruthless father was killed in the first film. Spider’s story takes several specific turns that make him wanted by nearly everyone but for much different reasons. Spider was a little annoying in the last film. But here he’s more of a sympathetic figure who’s being pulled in numerous directions and for nothing that he can control.

Image Courtesy of 20th Century Studios

As you may be able to tell, “Fire and Ash” is very much a direct sequel to “The Way of Water”. In fact, their connections are so close that you can only really view it as an extension of the previous film. The two are narratively inseparable which is why some might see their similarities as repetitive. But Cameron infuses every scene with purpose, whether they’re personal for individual characters or building up the growing conflict that is thrusting Pandora into all-out war.

Once again, “Fire and Ash” is every bit the jaw-dropping spectacle you expect. While is doesn’t feature a technical leap as significant as we saw from film 1 to film 2, it’s still a stunning visual showcase for digital animation, practical effects, and performance capture. And it remains the only franchise where seeing it in 3-D is a must. It’s all enhanced through a crisp high frame rate which some have criticized but that I personally love.

“Fire and Ash” may feel like “The Way of Water: Part 2”, but it brings some things of its own. The menacing Varang and the Mangkwan clan, the Wind Traders and their massive organic barges; new sea creatures from the deep – they all make great additions to Cameron’s already rich cinematic world. Yet it does have its shortcomings. Older characters pop up with nothing much to do. The movie’s length doesn’t quite feel as earned as before. And it uses some of the same action beats as the last film. But “Fire & Ash” is still a grand science-fiction epic that once again transports us to an awe-inspiring world that could only come from the imagination of James Cameron. And I loved being back.

VERDICT – 4.5 STARS

REVIEW: “It Was Just an Accident” (2025)

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Jafar Panahi continues his own style of guerilla filmmaking in his latest feature, “It Was Just an Accident”. Panahi once again offers an incisive critique of the ruling regime in his home country, Iran. He has been arrested multiple times, imprisoned, and at one point banned from filmmaking on charges of “propaganda”. Yet he has continued to make movies in Iran, often in secret and with the help of outside distributors. Such is the case with his latest neorealistic work.

“It Was Just an Accident” has been widely lauded across the globe, even winning the Palme d’Or at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. It now sits as France’s entry for Best International Feature Film category at the upcoming Academy Awards. His film offers a clear-eyed examination of dehumanization at the hands of brutal authoritarian regimes as well as the lasting psychological trauma that comes with it. More personally, it wrestles with ethical questions surrounding revenge and the grip it can have on someone.

Image Courtesy of NEON

Written by Panahi, the film opens with a man (Ebrahim Azizi) driving late at night with his wife and daughter. After accidentally striking a dog, his car runs for a few miles before breaking down, conveniently in front of a garage. The man walks into the garage, a noticeable squeak from his prosthetic leg sounding on every other step. A young mechanic kindly goes out to fix his car. But another man named Vahid (Vahid Mobasseri) hides upstairs, terrified of something we don’t know.

With his car fixed, the man drives his family home with Vahid secretly following behind. Vahid stakes out the family’s house until morning and then follows the man into town. When the time is right, Vahid abruptly pulls up next to the man, knocks him unconscious, kidnaps him, and then drives him out to the middle of the desert. Once there, Vahid throws the man into a fresh grave and begins to bury him alive.

Up to this point, Panahi has kept us in the dark which adds a thick layer of suspense to his story. But he begins peeling back that layer as the man begs for his life. Through their exchange we learn that Vahid believes he has abducted a man nicknamed “Peg-Leg” who has seriously wronged him. But questions arise when the terrified man disputes his claims. And this launches the story into a borderline outrageous direction that juggles visceral human drama with pitch-black comedy.

Without giving too much away, Vahid sets out on a mission to verify the identity of the man he believes is Peg-Leg. Along the way he’s joined by a colorful group of characters: a bookshop owner named Salar (Georges Hashemzadeh), a wedding photographer named Shiva (Mariam Afshari), a young bride-to-be Goli (Hadis Pakbaten) and her fiancé Ali (Majid Panahi), and Shiva’s hot-tempered ex, Hamid (Mohammad Ali Elyasmehr). Each bring their own unique personalities and each have their own unique testimonies of Peg-Leg’s brutality.

Image Courtesy of Neon

Over time Panahi uses his characters to unveil Peg-Leg’s crimes which get more disturbing with each revelation. And while each remembers the haunting squeak of a prosthetic leg, they all struggle to know for sure if the man they are holding is the same man who ruthlessly tortured them. Their uncertainty leads to tension which Panahi uses to pose some weighty moral questions. Is there justification in their actions or are they blinded by their trauma and their thirst for vengeance?

Nothing about that synopsis sounds amusing yet Panahi finds ways to bring levity to the otherwise heavy subject matter. Not only does it lighten things up, but it adds another layer of authenticity. While “It Was Just an Accident” has a rebellious spirit that pleads to a nation’s conscience, it at times seems more existential than pointedly political. It makes the film more than a simple indictment of theocratic fascism. It has more human implications which resonate from its mysterious start to its hauntingly ambiguous ending.

VERDICT – 4 STARS