First Glance: “Line of Duty”

November 1, 2019 by Keith Garlington

Where has Aaron Eckhart been? I know he’s set to appear in Roland Emmerich’s hopefully good “Midway” later this year, but aside from that he’s been MIA for the last couple of years. I’ve always liked Eckhart and it’s good to see him headlining the upcoming action thriller “Line of Duty”.

The first trailer shows Eckhart playing a police officer who kills the only lead in the kidnapping of a teenage girl. Guilt drives him to risk his life and and race against the clock to find her before it’s too late. Interesting story and some pretty intense action makes this a movie worth looking out for.

“Line of Duty” is listed as ‘coming soon’ but early 2020 would be a good bet. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you’ll be seeing it or taking a pass.

A Halloween Revisit: 5 Phenomenally Goofy Horror Movie Baddies

October 31, 2019 by Keith Garlington

It’s Halloween so what better time to revisit an older Phenomenal 5 that’s all about the scares. We all know the Jasons and the Freddys of the genre. We are all familiar with Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy. These horror movie baddies have been carving their names into the minds of horror fans for decades. But not every horror movie terror is all that frightening. In fact, there are some that are just plain goofy. Today we’re looking at five of the silliest horror baddies to ever grace the genre. There are so many to choose from therefore I wouldn’t call this the definitive list. But I think we can all agree that these are five phenomenally goofy horror Movie villains.

#5 – THE GREEN GOBLIN SEMI-TRUCK (“Maximum Overdrive”)

“Maximum Overdrive” was an odd horror movie about machines coming to life after a comet passes by the earth. Makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? The machines, ranging from vending machines to automobiles, begin attacking people. At a North Carolina truck stop Emilio Estevez and a handful of survivors are trapped inside as a number of “living” semi-trucks circle the building. What’s even goofier is that they have a “leader” – a menacing black semi with a huge Green Goblin face mounted on its front. There’s a big final battle between the human survivors and the trucks (no, I’m not kidding) but ultimately it comes down to stopping the green-faced 18-wheeled evil. This film was based on a Stephen King short story and it marked King’s one and only foray into directing. I think it’s easy to see why.

#4 – KILLER CLOWNS (“Killer Klowns from Outer Space”)

Yes, this is a movie that’s just as goofy as it’s title. Now to be fair, “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” knows it’s idiotic and it does have a little fun with it. But it’s still a horror picture with antagonists that fit perfectly on this list. Do you need proof? Ok, how about this – an army of “Klowns” land on Earth in their circus tent-shaped space ship and begin killing the residents of a California town. We find out these Klowns (and yes they are actually clowns) are here to harvest us as a food source. But the town fights back and soon find the Klowns have one big weakness. Remember how zombies die with a bullet to the head? Well Killer Klowns can be killed by taking out their bright shiny noses. Shoot them in the nose and watch them spin like a top before blowing up into pieces. But it’s not a simple thing to do. They’re armed with everything from deadly ray guns to lethal balloon animals and acid pies. Now do you question their inclusion on this list? I thought not.

#3 – CHUCKY (The “Child’s Play” Series)

I still find it amazing that Chucky was actually part of a multi-film franchise. In case you don’t know, Chucky is a children’s doll possessed by a serial killer. Sounds like a completely rational idea for a horror villain, doesn’t it? Yet regardless of how preposterous it may sound, Chucky gained a strong cult following that resulted in several sequels. This foul-mouthed, murderous, red-haired doll kills indiscriminately and learns to enjoy his new “body”. He’s a tough cookie too. Chucky has been shot, burned, melted, blown up, decapitated, and cut into a million pieces. But despite all of the attempts he keeps coming back. And life has been good for Chucky. He’s met a female doll and married her. He’s even a proud father. Ok, I feel idiotic even typing that. It’s hard to believe that a corny concept like a killer “My Buddy” doll could have had such success. But if you doubt me keep in mind he was rebooted early this year.

#2 – KILLER TOMATOES (“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”)

It’s obvious that the creators of the 1978 horror film “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” intended to inject a lot of humor into their movie. I mean how could they avoid it with a title like this? If you think about it, how many ways can a tomato actually kill you? But don’t underestimate the proficiency of these vine-ripe terrors. The have many plump and juicy methods including devouring their prey and drowning their victims in tomato juice. Pretty scary stuff, huh? But like every ominous threat, these killers have a weakness. Their kryptonite isn’t a sharp knife or boiling water. No, it’s the song “Puberty Love”. Whenever they hear it they begin to shrink and are easily squashed. There have been three other “Killer Tomato” sequels but none have reached the B-movie cult status as the original. And let’s be honest, are there any other horror villains quite like them?

#1 – ZOMBIE ENTRAILS (“Dead Alive”)

If you haven’t seen Peter Jackson’s earlier film “Dead Alive” you’re probably trying to grasp the idea of zombie entrails. But yet it’s exactly what you think. “Dead Alive” is a nutty, off-the-wall gorefest that soaks the audience in blood and laughs. It takes the zombie and splatter films to new heights and I promise you it’s like nothing you’ve seen before. It all starts when nerdy Stewart’s mother is bitten by a Sumatran Rat-Monkey that’s carrying a rare disease. It ends up turning her into a zombie and you know that there can never be just one. Soon things get way out of hand highlighted by zombified entrails that attack our hero Stewart. The entrails chase him, throw him, and strangle him and it takes his greatest innovation to survive. Sounds terrorizing doesn’t it? This film has been called by some the goriest movie of all time. It’s also very funny and how can you argue with the horror of zombie entrails?

There you have them – the goofiest of the horror villains. I can think of several others that could grace this list but I think these have earned their spots. So how about your choices? Who would you include on this goofy list?

REVIEW: “Isle of the Dead”

October 31, 2019 by Keith Garlington

From the first moment the unmistakable Boris Karloff appears on-screen in “The Isle of the Dead” you immediately feel a sense of unease. The English horror movie icon was known for his distinct voice and menacing, expressive face. In fact it was 1931’s “Frankenstein” and 1932’s “The Mummy” that made Karloff a star. “Isle of the Dead” certainly isn’t considered among those classics, but it’s an underrated and overlooked part of his fun and impressive filmography.

This 1945 horror thriller was actually inspired by an Arnold Böcklin painting. It takes place in 1912 during the Balkan Wars. Karloff plays General Pherides who takes an American war correspondent Oliver Davis (Marc Cramer) to visit the Isle of the Dead, a remote island cemetery where Pherides’ wife is entombed. Once there they find the wife’s grave vandalized while hearing the haunting voice of a woman. As they search out the voice they come across a home place housing a Swiss archeologist, a British dignitary and his sickly wife, a tinsmith, a housekeeper, and a beautiful young Greek woman.

As night falls the archeologist (played by Jason Robards, Sr.) convinces Pherides and Davis to stay. The next morning one of them is found dead and a doctor is summoned. He determines that the death is the result of a rare plague and quarantines the island forbidding anyone from leaving. The rest of the film follows the group as the plague or possibly something much more sinister claims one victim after another.

The bulk of the story focuses on the cause of the mounting death toll. Concern takes over with some searching for answers in modern medicine and others in superstition. Some attribute the death to a supernatural force known as Vorvolaka. But once paranoia sets in different theories arise and suspicions lead to accusations. The movie builds on the fear and confusion of its characters which inevitably leads to division. It could be said the film is more interested in exploring these interactions than actual delivering horror. But that’s not to say it doesn’t give us some eerie moments particularly in the second half.

I can see some people having lukewarm reactions to “Isle of the Dead”. It doesn’t go all-out horror and its focus on suspense sometimes misses the mark. But ultimately it succeeds in being a compelling horror thriller with a fun Boris Karloff performance at its center. It has its share of creepy scenes and while some of its elements are absurd, the story plays out neatly and in a way I found to be quite fun.

VERDICT – 3.5 STARS

Denzel Day #9 : “Remember the Titans”

October 30, 2019 by Keith Garlington

‘Feel good’ movies can be a little tricky. Despite coming in a variety of shapes and sizes, these films almost always come with some degree of predictability. That’s why it’s imperative that their story be a good one and be told in a way that compels us even though we can usually see where they may be going.

“Remember the Titans” not only faces the ‘feel good’ challenge but it’s also a football movie which brings along its own set of predictable tropes. But director Boaz Yakin manages thanks to a steady dedication to his characters and a truly inspiring story set in the tinderbox of the racially divided South. It doesn’t hurt to have Denzel Washington as your lead – an actor who at that time had already shown an exceptional range and the ability to bring emotional depth to any character he played.

In the Fall of 1971 the city of Alexandria, Virginia consolidated its high schools and formed T. C. Williams High School. It was the last step in fully integrating the city’s school system and was met with immediate pushback from many in the white community. African-American Herman Boone (Washington) is hired to coach the football team, a position many expected to be filled by Bill Yoast (Will Patton). This infuriates many of the white players who played under Yoast before the integration and their parents who expected him to coach their kids.

It’s not like Coach Boone is thrilled with the position he is thrust into. He had faced something similar earlier in his career and felt guilty for taking Yoast’s spot. But after sensing the enthusiasm and pressure from the black community he reluctantly agrees. And to help curb the boiling public outrage he asks an equally reluctant Yoast to stay on as an assistant coach. The racial tensions in the city are reflected on the team and even among coaches. But if Boone and Yoast can get on the same page, maybe they can not only bring the football team together but the townsfolk as well.

“Remember the Titans” is based on a true story which helps it through some of its more conventional moments. Most importantly it always remains character-driven whether it’s dealing directly on the football field or telling the story of two families (the Boones and the Yoasts) and how they’re both effected by the groundswell of racial enmity.

In many ways “Remember the Titans” is a straight-forward and at times by-the-books football movie. We get the team slowly coming together when no one thought it was possible. We get the player who turns his back on his teammates but sees the light in the nick of time. We get the key injury to a big player that inspires the team before the big game. At the same time it shrewdly weaves in several thought-provoking threads. Take the historical frankness in its depiction of the racial landscape during the early 70’s. Or in how it slyly shows the indoctrination of ignorance and hate particularly on our children.

And of course there are the performances led by Denzel Washington. This is yet another role that he sinks himself into. It’s a fiercely authentic portrayal of Herman Boone that never feels like a caricature. Will Patton’s tempered, restrained performance does a good job of conveying a conflicted man bouncing back-and-forth between expectations and decency. And a 10-year-old Hayden Panettiere is a darling scene-stealer as Coach Yoast’s outspoken football savvy daughter.

It’s a shame that it would take something as trivial as football to break through the ugly wall of racism but it does make for an inspiring and still relevant story. Like most of these things dramatic liberties were taken. Not all of the timelines match up and not every character is in-sync with their real inspiration. But the beating heart of the story is still powerful and pertinent which makes this film not only highly watchable entertainment but a thought-provoking (and hopefully in some ways enlightening) crowdpleaser.

VERDICT – 3.5 STARS

REVIEW: “Eli” (2019)

October 29, 2019 by Keith Garlington

Finding a horror movie that does something purely original is an extremely rare achievement. So rare in fact that it’s often satisfying just to find a movie that simply does the familiar things really well. And that’s the case with the new Netflix horror flick “Eli”. You won’t find much you haven’t seen before, but it uses its many horror conventions in a surprisingly fun and entertaining way.

The funny thing is “Eli” often uses our knowledge of horror genre norms against us. It starts us down one road, sells us on an idea, then pulls the rug completely out from under us. It all culminates in a batty final 15 minutes that does what a lot of good thrillers do – leaves you thinking about and second guessing everything you’ve seen before it.

The story follows a close-knit family of three. Eli (Charlie Shotwell) is a young boy suffering from an unnamed disease that causes intense burning reactions when exposed to ‘unclean’ air. This forces him to live within a protective bubble in his room and wear a hazmat suit whenever going outside.

His loving but stressed parents Rose (Kelly Reilly) and Paul (Max Martini) have looked far and wide for someone who could cure their son. They spend their last bit of savings taking Eli to Dr. Isabella Horn (Lili Taylor) who runs a remote treatment center and brags of a 100% cure rate among her patients. She operates out of a highly modernized plantation house that is hermetically sealed from any outside contaminates.

At first Eli is scared and hesitant but soon ecstatic to be able to leave his suit and have a semblance of normal living with his parents (while inside the facility of course). But once the treatments begin Eli starts having terrifying hallucinations. Dr. Horn calls it normal and attributes it to the side effects of her procedures. But c’mon, this is a horror movie. Of course there’s more to it than that.

This is where director Ciarán Foy starts to play around with our expectations. And unlike his last film, the painful “Sinister 2”, this one does a good job building suspense and keeping you guessing. Even those with good horror movie instincts will find it a challange pinning “Eli” down into any one horror sub-genre. Better yet, there isn’t an over-reliance on cheap jump scares. Sure we get a couple here and there, but Foy puts much more effort into developing a creepy atmosphere while leading us down some unexpected trails.

So what is Eli’s punishing disease? What is causing his nightmarish visions? Who is this mysterious girl (played by Sadie Sink from “Stranger Things”) who keeps showing up outside Eli’s window? How the heck does Foy pull off the film’s crazy yet satisfying final 15 minutes? Finding those answers proved to be more fun than I expected. And while “Eli” may trip over itself from time to time, it still does plenty of interesting things that make it a welcomed and worthwhile horror movie romp.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

REVIEW: “Countdown” (2019)

October 28, 2019 by Keith Garlington

It took a while, but it looks like we’re finally getting the killer smartphone app horror movie we’ve been waiting for. Okay, so maybe I’m being a little facetious, but with a movie like “Countdown” it’s kind of hard not to be. It’s one of those films that easily belongs on the more absurd side of the horror genre.

The idea is that a smartphone app called Countdown claims to be able to predict the date and time of your death right down to the second. Of course it instantly becomes popular with droves of unwitting teens, twenty-somethings and other soon-to-be killer fodder. The prologue starts it up with a group of partying kids downloading Countdown as part of their drinking game. Needless to say the app proves to be deadly accurate (see what I did there).

The movie then pivots to a nursing intern named Quinn (Elizabeth Lail). She and her co-workers jokingly download the app which gives her only three days left to live. She’s quick to dismiss it at first but several things change her mind namely terrifying visions that seem to be foreshadowing her impending demise. Well, they’re terrifying to her. For us they are simply a collection of tried-and-not-so-true jump scares.

Quinn tries the obvious, deleting the app, but with no success. And somehow buying a new phone through a new service provider doesn’t work (I still haven’t figured out the silly rules behind that one). As she slowly unravels she meets Matt (Jordan Calloway) who is trying to escape the same fate and she learns her sister (Talitha Bateman) is in the same boat.

“Countdown” is written and directed by Boston native Justin Dec whose previous credits include several film shorts and a web series. Here he tries to compensate for the rather lightweight horror by cramming in a half-baked workplace sexual harassment storyline and some old family baggage neither of which is all that compelling. Even with those things the characters are paper-thin andgeneric. The worst is a priest (P. J. Byrne) Quinn seeks out for help. He may be the worst character you see in a film this year.

Remember the 2017 film “Happy Death Day”? It was a horror movie built on a wacky premise but with plenty of self-awareness and black comedy to make it a lot of fun. “Countdown” could have worked if it had done something similar. Instead it takes an even more preposterous premise and gives it the super-serious treatment from the start all the way through its cheap sequel tease at the end. But if nothing else at least it instills one piece of life-changing wisdom to smartphone owners everywhere – ALWAYS read the user agreement!