[“In Spite of Ourselves” screened at Filmland 2026 and was followed by Q&A with writer-director Jeff Loeb, cinematographer Gabe Mayhan, and composer Jim Fairchild.]

Josh Loeb writes and directs “In Spite of Ourselves”, a romantic drama that (sadly) almost feels like the remnant of a bygone era. It’s the kind of adult-centered movie that simply doesn’t get made these days. Instead studios have migrated towards flighty and formulaic melodramas aimed at younger audiences. Thankfully independent cinema has left the doors open for filmmakers who still remember the work of the Rob Reiners and Nora Ephrons.

“In Spite of Ourselves” surprises in a variety of ways. Tops on the list is how it continually bucks the predictable formulas that have come to define these types of stories. Every time we think it’s going a more conventional route, Loeb brings things back to earth. And that grounded sensibility extends to everything from the characters to the dialogue to the story arc itself. It’s such a refreshing reminder that stories like this can be told without following some worn-out blueprint.

From the outset, “In Spite of Ourselves” feels as if it’s drawn from real life. And for good reason. Loeb pulls from all kinds of life experiences, from his successes as an accomplished restauranteur to more personal family circumstances. It all factors into his story about two thirtysomethings, who by all conventional modern movie wisdom appear destined to be together. But as we learn, they’ll need to come to grips with their own messy lives if they are to have any chance together.

Archie (Brett Dier) is an up-and-coming comic out of Los Angeles who can’t seem to get out of his own way when it comes to commitment. His only semblance of a social life is hanging out with his two friends and fellow comics, Ben (Mo Mandel) and Sam (Alyssa Limperis). When not touring comedy clubs along the west coast, Archie is trying to cope with the failing health of his father Frank (Glenn Morshower), who is living in a senior care facility battling dementia.

Meanwhile in Portland, Hannah (Conor Leslie) is a talented baker with big dreams of opening her own restaurant. For the time being she’s stuck working for a narcissistic chef named Jake (Ethan Ingle) who believes he can treat her however he wants due to one night of drunken indiscretion. But Hannah has more on her proverbial plate. She has slowly been losing hearing in her right ear. And the only means to potentially stop it is a major surgery that comes with some frightening risks.

While doing a show in Portland, Archie pops into Jake’s place for a cinnamon roll which is where he meets Hannah. The moment plays like your prototypical meet-cute with its slightly awkward dialogue, sheepish grins, and a glaringly obvious mutual attraction. But well before the movie veers into standard-issue rom-dram territory, Loeb pulls his story back to reality with a slightly comical yet emotionally grounded moment that sets the tone for the rest of the film in its own unique way.

While Archie and Hannah have an easygoing and organic connection, their individual struggles begin pulling them in opposite directions. It’s here that the movie features the same maddening lack of communication that often plagues these stories. It’s a case where one open and honest conversation could avoid the majority of the conflict. But in the movie’s defense, overly internalizing their feelings fits naturally with these characters. And it builds towards an ending that honestly conveys the messiness of real life.

Loeb’s script communicates its themes through the lens of the writer’s own experiences which infuses it with an authenticity rarely found in the genre today. It also helps to have two solid anchors in Leslie and Dier, whose indelible charm and natural chemistry bled over into a real-life engagement. Then you have some solid supporting characters, such as Hannah’s best friends Becca (Britian Seibert), a raging cynic, and Shalice (Zora Casebere), a hopeless romantic. They mostly dodge the archetypal bullet which allows them to have some genuinely meaningful moments.

Other factors play into the movie’s success, from its distinct visual language to its shrewdly composed score. But the impact is felt most through Loeb’s refreshing vision and two superb lead performances. The bulk of the humor seems aimed at stand-up comedy fans, but there are plenty of amusing moments for the rest of us. And the schmaltz-free storytelling is a nice reminder that stories like this can be told without the crutches of excessive sentimentality and tired formula. For me, that’s what makes “In Spite of Ourselves” stand out most.

VERDICT – 4 STARS