REVIEW: “Madame Web” (2024)

Spider-Man is easily one of the most popular superheroes in existence. Among the many things that fans love about the revered webslinger is the amazing array of characters who fill out his world. Allies, villains, non-superpowered side characters – the list is long and diverse. Over the years many have found their ways onto the big screen and one thing has become abundantly clear, some characters have fared considerably better than others when it comes to Spidey movies.

Adding to the list of those who haven’t fared well is Madame Web, a supporting character in the Spidey comics who now gets her own movie in Sony’s Spider-Man cinematic universe. Unfortunately what we get is an exercise in futility that stretches the Spider-Man brand beyond its limits. Directed by S.J. Clarkson and (somehow) written by a team of FOUR screenwriters, “Madame Web” is a hodgepodge of fair to downright terrible ideas, thrown together to form one of the more excruciating superhero movies to endure.

Opening in 1973, deep in the Amazonian jungles of Peru, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) provides security for a science and research expedition led by Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé). There they discover a new species of spider with healing properties capable of curing all kinds of diseases. In true villain form, Ezekiel turns on Constance and their team, claiming the discovery for himself and leaving Constance for dead. A mysterious local tribe attempt to save Constance and her unborn baby using some kind of magical spider venom. But Constance dies while delivering her daughter, Cassie.

Image Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

From there we jump ahead to 2003 as what happened in the thirty years between is mostly left unanswered. Cassie (Dakota Johnson) is a New York City paramedic working alongside Ben Parker (Adam Scott). When an emergency call ends with Cassie having a near-death experience, she begins having strange and unexplainable visions. She first tries to dismiss them as simple déjà vu. But over time she realizes her visions are actually glimpses into the future.

Meanwhile Ezekiel, who has premonition and physical powers all his own, has set his sights on three unconnected teenagers, Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Carazon (Isabela Merced), Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor). Ezekiel has been haunted by visions of the future where these girls (somehow) gain their own spider-powers and use them to kill him. Determined to prevent his death, Ezekiel sets out to kill the girls first. But when Cassie’s newfound powers reveals Ezekiel’s plans, she’s compelled to save and protect the girls, all while trying to understand her strange abilities.

As vague and poorly defined as it is, there are hints of an original and potentially interesting premise. But Clarkson and the team of writers never get beyond teasing those ideas. Instead their movie meanders to the point of tedium. The characters are dull and uninspired as is the action which is hampered by poor staging, choppy editing, and mediocre-to-bad CGI.

Image Courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

The dreadful script doesn’t help things. It’s full of gaping holes, narrative shortcuts, and some astonishingly bad dialogue. The glaring oversights (and there are many of them) are especially funny. Take Cassie being wanted by police for kidnapping the girls she actually saved. Yet she drives all over New York City in a stolen cab, walks around in broad daylight, gets flights in and out of the country without the cops every getting wind. It’s as if the movie completely forgets the whole police angle.

“Madame Web” is capped off with an unimaginative and utterly preposterous finale that leaves you scratching your head at how poorly its pieces come together. There’s no real stakes and as a result there’s no real suspense. Add to it our general lack of investment and you have a doomed ending with no real chance of offering up a satisfying conclusion. Its best quality is that it mercifully ends what is a flailing mess of a movie – one that seems perfectly content with riding Spider-Man’s coattails rather than trying for something smart, original, and coherent. “Madame Web” is in theaters now.

VERDICT – 1.5 STARS

REVIEW: “Spaceman” (2024)

A cerebral space drama and Adam Sandler – not exactly a ‘peanut butter and jelly’ kind of combination at first glance. Now throw in a giant extraterrestrial spider voiced by Paul Dano and you have “Spaceman”, a movie that on paper defies description. It’s directed by Johan Renck, best known for his work on the award-winning mini-series “Chernobyl”. His involvement adds another curious piece to the enigma that is “Spaceman” while also adding to the film’s allure.

It should be said, “Spaceman” is not a Happy Madison production and that’s a good sign. Written for the screen by Colby Day, the film is based on the 2017 novel “Spaceman of Bohemia” by Jaroslav Kalfař. Sandler fans who haven’t tapped into his more thoughtful work might be surprised by his ability to pull off such a somber and restrained meditation. But “Spaceman” is a welcomed reminder of how good he can be whenever he ventures outside of his exhausting comfort zone.

Emotionally layered, necessarily slow, yet ever absorbing – “Spaceman” is the kind of movie that is sure to provoke a fascinating array of responses. For me, I have a real soft spot for these kinds of movies. When they’re done well it’s easy for me to get lost in them. Such is the case with this rich exploration of the human condition set against the backdrop of the daunting vastness of space. It’s something that’s been done before and Renck’s inspirations are impossible to miss. But that doesn’t take away from what he accomplishes.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

Sandler plays Jakub Procházka, an astronaut on a Czech space mission to study an ominous yet beautiful purple-hued particle cloud in deep space that’s large enough to be seen in the Earth’s sky. 500 million kilometers from home and on the outskirts of Jupiter, Jakub is entering his 189th day in space – the halfway mark of his journey (I’m not sure the math adds up but oh well…).

Back on Earth, Jakub’s mission is tightly guarded by the head of Mission Control, Commissioner Tuma (Isabella Rossellini). She keeps a firm and calculated grip on information. In doing so she has captured the public’s interest by commercializing Jakub and turning his mission reports into must-see television. At the same time, she closely monitors and screens information given to Jakub, withholding anything that she and her team feels may jeopardize his fitness to complete his mission.

But what Mission Control doesn’t realize is that by keeping certain information from him they’re actually contributing to his downward mental spiral. In addition to being lonely and overcome by feelings of isolation, Jakub desperately misses his wife, Lenka (played by the always terrific Carey Mulligan, an actress who can make reading a cereal box compelling). But this yearning of his is driven mostly by deep feelings of guilt and regret, even if he’s not ready to admit it.

Jakub tries to keep his worsening mental state hidden from his Mission Control handler Peter (Kunal Nayyar). There’s even a sense of denial as Jakub struggles to convince himself that he’s fine. But he’s forced to come face to face with his distress after he discovers an uninvited visitor aboard his ship. Elegantly voiced by Dano and in the form of a giant brown spider, the extraterrestrial reveals itself to be an explorer who has been studying human behavior.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

Through their interactions we begin to see deeper into the reluctant Jakub’s psyche. The more the alien arachnid probes the more we see what has driven him to such a fragile place. Most of what we see centers around his marriage to Lenka. Mulligan is an aching hypnotic presence seen mostly as a silhouette pulled by the alien from Jakub’s memories. We see the two fall in love and soon after learn that Lenka’s pregnant. But Jakub’s obsession with his mission drives a wedge between them. And his eagerness to leave her alone to have their baby feeds a growing frustration that leads Lenka to question their entire relationship.

It’s never said for sure when the movie takes place, but there are features that seem firmly grounded in the past and others that feel near-future. Similar ambiguity is found in the characters as well, more specifically in the choice to have the cast use their natural accents. It’s a decision that fits nicely within the film’s enigmatic framework. Equally effective is the claustrophobic yet immersive cinematography from Jakob Ihre and Jan Houllevigue’s rigorously detailed production design.

“Spaceman” can best be described as a psychoanalytical character study set as much in the depths of one man’s soul as it is the vastness of space. Director Johan Renck pulls from a variety of films such as Tarkovsky’s “Solaris” and Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”. He even throws in a dash of Malick and a smidgen of Spielberg. But even with its deeper musings, there is a simplicity at the film’s core that considers a number of potent themes including the meaning of love, neglect, and the need for human connection. Altogether it makes for an unexpectedly moving experience that some will have a hard time connecting with. Me…what can I say, I was captivated. “Spaceman” premieres March 1st on Netflix.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

Retro Review: “Face/Off” (1997)

Renowned Hong Kong action director John Woo’s first venture to Hollywood was great for us fans but frustrating for the acclaimed filmmaker. 1993’s “Hard Target” and 1996’s “Broken Arrow” were bullet-riddled blasts but they came with intrusive studio management. It wasn’t until 1997’s “Face/Off” that Woo was finally given the creative control needed to tell the kind of story he wanted to tell and make the kind of movie he wanted to make.

“Face/Off” was a big hit both critically and commercially and the film has aged incredibly well. Without question a major part of the movie’s success was Woo who brought his full arsenal of action-fueled style and imagination to the film. But equally as crucial was the unquestioned talent and charisma of the film’s two leads, John Travolta and Nicolas Cage. Both take on dual roles in portraying the same two characters (sound confusing?) and they absolutely crush it.

Image Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Travolta plays plays FBI Agent Sean Archer, the leader of a covert anti-terrorist unit dedicated to taking down a ruthless international terrorist and assassin named Castor Troy (Cage). For Archer the pursuit of Troy is personal. Six years earlier Troy attempted to assassinate Archer, inadvertently killing Archer’s young son Michael instead. Since then Archer has been driven to bring his nemesis down, culminating in a violent shootout at a remote airstrip that leaves several of Archer’s team dead and Troy in a coma.

But Archer’s victory is short-lived after Troy’s captured younger brother and accomplice Pollux (Alessandro Nivola) reveals that a bomb has been placed somewhere in a densely populated area of Los Angeles. But he refuses to give up the location. Out of options, a frustrated Archer is introduced to a top-secret and highly experimental procedure headed by Dr. Malcolm Walsh (Colm Feore) that just might help persuade Pollux to reveal the bomb’s location.

Archer agrees to the procedure which has Troy’s face, voice, and body appearance transplanted to him. From there Archer, who now looks and sounds like Troy (and is now played by Cage), is sent to the same high-security penitentiary where Pollux is being held. But while he’s on his undercover mission to win Pollux’s trust, the real Castor Troy wakes up and forces Dr. Walsh to put Archer’s face on him. Troy then kills everyone who knows about the mission, leaving Archer languishing in prison and stuck as Troy with no way of proving his true identity.

It goes without saying that “Face/Off” has a bonkers premise, but Woo does a great job making it thrilling, suspenseful, and at times surprisingly heartfelt. He injects many of his favorite trademarks from the stylish slow-motion, dual-wielding pistols, and graceful white doves. All of those things on top of his methodical pacing, steady tension building, and layered storylines.

Image Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

The action is top-notch whether its intensely choreographed gunfights or jaw-dropping (and expensive) set pieces. As for the storytelling, it ranges from funny and over-the-top to downright unsettling. Cage’s wild-man demeanor comes out on several occasions and you can’t help but laugh. At the same time, Travolta slithers under your skin portraying Troy, especially as he infiltrates Archer’s family. His scenes with Archer’s wife Eve (Joan Allen) and their troubled teen daughter Jamie (Dominique Swain) can legitimately make you squirm.

In a time when the action genre seems to struggle to find its identity, it says something that the 27-year-old “Face/Off” still holds up against much of what passes for action cinema today. It’s vintage John Woo who shows why he is such a big screen legend. And it’s a wildly entertaining showcase for John Travolta and Nicolas Cage, both of whom were in the heydays of their careers. So if you’ve never seen “Face/Off” or it has been a while, what better time. It’s now available to own on 4K Ultra HD courtesy of Kino Lorber.

VERDICT – 4 STARS

First Glance: “Horizon: An American Saga”

Comfortably nestled among my most anticipated films of 2024 is Kevin Costner’s “Horizon: An American Saga”. The 69-year-old Costner directs, co-writes (along with Jon Baird), and stars in this sprawling four-part big screen event. This ambitious cinematic adventure is a true passion project for Costner and seems pulled from the great Western epics of old. We were teased with a first look just a few weeks ago. Now we have the first full trailer and needless to say “Horizon” looks amazing.

Costner brings together a massive cast that includes names like Danny Huston, Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Jena Malone, Thomas Haden Church, Michael Rooker, Abbey Lee, Will Patton, Luke Wilson, Jeff Fahey, and of course Costner himself. The film spans four years during America’s Civil War and tells the story of a country at war with itself through the eyes and families, friends, indigenous people, and cold-blooded invaders. The size and scale of “Horizon” is truly breathtaking and I can’t wait to be swept away.

Chapter one of “Horizon: An American Saga” opens exclusively in theaters on June 28th. Chapter two opens “August 16th”. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you’ll be seeing it or taking a pass.

REVIEW: “Mea Culpa” (2024)

It seems that Tyler Perry’s latest self-branded feature “Mea Culpa” wants to be a number of things including a legal thriller, an erotic thriller, and a psychological thriller. The problem is there’s not a thrill of any kind to be found in this astonishingly bad, completely hollow, and downright trashy straight-to-streaming debacle. In fact, it’s only the unintentional laughs (and there are MANY of them) that make the film the slightest bit bearable.

Produced, written, and directed by Perry, “Mea Culpa” is the kind of movie that will find an audience just by being plastered all over the Netflix homepage. And to be fair, a lot of people will watch it just because Perry’s name is attached. But that doesn’t excuse the kind of shoddy quality that we get in “Mea Culpa”. While Perry’s direction is nothing to write home about, the real culprit is his writing from the utterly absurd storyline, to the incredibly shallow characters, to the laughably bad dialogue.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

Kelly Rowland is given the unenviable task of playing Mea Harper, a defense attorney whose marriage is on the rocks. Her husband Kal (Sean Sagar) lost his job as an anesthesiologist for showing up to work wasted. Even worse, he may have cheated on Mea. To complicate matters even further, Kal has an unhealthy attachment to his domineering and dying mother, Azalia (Kerry O’Malley) – a baffling addition to the story that plays out about as poorly as possibly.

While at her law firm, Mea is approached by an edgy contemporary artist named Zyair Malloy (a bone-dry and lifeless Trevante Rhodes). He’s suspected of killing his girlfriend and is set to be prosecuted by the District Attorney. The police have gobs of evidence against him yet Zyair claims his innocence. He wants Mea to defend him in court and after lengthy consideration she agrees. After all, with her husband not working they need the money.

There’s only one problem with Mea taking the high-profile case – the District Attorney is her brother-in-law, Ray (Nick Sagar) who has aspirations of running for mayor and plans on using a conviction of Zyair as part of his campaign. Obvious family conflicts ensue, most of which begin sending the story in a new direction that happens to be as predictable as it is implausible.

To avoid the paparazzi (and to provide a convenient reason for them to be alone), Mea begins meeting in Zyair’s loft to discuss the case. But to no one’s surprise the legal talk quickly takes a back seat to seduction. Despite there not being an ounce of notable chemistry between Rowland and Rhodes, the insipid sexual deviant Zyair begins wooing the supposedly sharp and intelligent Mea.

Image Courtesy of Netflix

And that gets to one of the film’s biggest problems. Everything that plays out makes the allegedly ‘strong female lead’ as dumb as a box of rocks. The terrible choices she makes, her inability to see the obvious, her overall lack of good instincts and judgement – Mea gets shockingly dumber as the story progresses which I’m guessing wasn’t what Perry was going for. Yet the material is so bad leaving Rowland in a no-win situation. There’s simply nothing she can do to make us believe in the Mea that Perry wants.

None of the supporting cast or characters fare any better (and I do mean NONE). I mentioned the deflated Rhodes who can’t muster a spark of energy or charisma. Everyone else is cranked up too high – the overly oblivious Kal, the overly ruthless Azalia, the overly haughty Ray. And then there’s Mea’s friend, Jimmy (RonReaco Lee), one of the worse private investigators you’ll find in a movie. But again, the cast can only do so much with such a dreadful script. And Perry’s direction routinely puts them in positions that no amount of good acting could overcome. “Mea Culpa” is now streaming on Netflix.

VERDICT – 1 STAR

New on Home Video: “Wonka” on 4K Ultra HD and Digital

Warner Brothers Home Entertainment is bringing one of 2023’s biggest surprises to 4K Ultra HD. The delightful musical fantasy feature “Wonka” from director Paul King tells the origin story of author Roald Dahl’s famed inventor, magician, and chocolatier, Willy Wonka. Timothée Chalamet gives his most endearing performance to date as the dream-driven young Wonka who arrives in Europe to establish his chocolate shop at the renowned Galéries Gourmet. It features a terrific ensemble and rousing musical numbers on top of fabulous costume and production design.

This 4K Ultra HD and Digital Copy edition of “Wonka” will be available to own on February 27th. See below for a full synopsis and release information.

About the Film

Year: 2023

Runtime: 116 Minutes

Director: Paul King

Screenwriter: Simon Farnaby and Paul King

Cast: Timothée Chalamet, Calah Lane, Keegan-Michael Key, Paterson Joseph, Olivia Colman, Hugh Grant, Matt Lucas, Mathew Baynton, Sally Hawkins, Rowan Atkinson, Jim Carter

Rating: PG for Some Violence, Mild Language and Thematic Elements

From Paul King, writer/director of the “Paddington” films, David Heyman, producer of “Harry Potter,” “Gravity,” “Barbie” and “Paddington,” and producers Alexandra Derbyshire (the “Paddington” films, “Jurassic World: Dominion”) and Luke Kelly (“Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical”), comes an intoxicating mix of magic and music, mayhem and emotion, all told with fabulous heart and humor. 

Synopsis

Based on the extraordinary, iconic character at the center of Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, one of the best-selling children’s books of all time, “Wonka” tells the wondrous story of how a young chocolate-maker, armed with nothing but a hatful of dreams, manages to change the world, one delectable bite at a time.

Starring Timothée Chalamet in the title role, this irresistibly vivid and inventive big screen spectacle will introduce audiences to a young Willy Wonka, as he becomes the world’s greatest inventor, magician and chocolate-maker.

Special Features

“Wonka” 4K UHD and Digital Copy contain the following special features:  

Unwrapping Wonka: Paul King’s Vision

  • Revered director Paul King takes you on a deep dive into his experience adapting the beloved story of Wonka.

The Whimsical Music of Wonka

  • Composer Joby Talbot and songwriter Neil Hannon take you into the studio to illuminate the craft behind the wondrous songs of the film.

Welcome to Wonka Land ​

  • Production designer Nathan Crowley and the rest of the “Wonka” crew discuss creating the magical sets that transport audiences to the worlds of the film.

Hats Off to Wonka

  • Costume designer Lindy Hemming breaks down the inspiration and intention behind each of the character’s wonderful costumes.

Wonka’s Chocolatier ​

  • Chocolatier Gabriella Cugno provides an in-depth look at the creatin of the beautiful chocolates seen in “Wonka.”