The 5th Annual K&M Random Movie Awards

random

Today marks the fifth (yes fifth) year that I have put together this highly esteemed and barely anticipated final look back at the previous year in movies. I simply call these the K&M Random Movie Awards. Even the name drips with prestige and significance. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill awards drivel. They are completely random categories yanked out of the air and presented to you. Now, without further delay, the red carpet ceremony is over. Lets get to this year’s ‘winners’…

Best Ensemble Cast – “Hail Caesar!”

The Coen brothers do a lot of things right in their films. One of them is assembling a cast. Just look at these names from “Hail Caesar!” – Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Ray Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, Scarlett Johansson. And that’s not even including the young star Alden Ehrenreich. What a cast.

Worst Movie Title – “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back”

I mean come on. Just say it to yourself a couple of times? Every time I say it I compulsively add an 80’s movie trailer voice-over to it. It’s so corny I can’t help myself.

Best Animated Film- “Kubo and the Two Strings”

I was late coming to this movie but I’m so glad I did. What a visual and emotional delight. The animation is gorgeous and strikingly unique. The same could be said for the story which was a fresh escape from the normal stuff we get.

church-hill

Funniest Scene – “Church-Hill” (“Love & Friendship”)

When Tom Bennett gives us a proper introduction to his character in “Love & Friendship” the result is comic gold. In this particular scene his lovable buffoon is hysterically awkward trying to explain his unannounced arrival to Churchill. I will leave it at that so you can enjoy the rest on your own.

Best Soundtrack  “La La Land”

What can I say, I love the music of  “La La Land”. It ranges from romantic to heartbreaking, aching to exhilarating. It’s a joyous mix of big orchestration and old-school jazz with some incredibly catchy riffs that I’m still humming today.

Best Fight Scene – “The Lobster”

Who says a fight scene has to be full of great choreography and visual effects? That certainly isn’t true for the brief and utterly absurd fight in “The Lobster”. A conversation about animals turns into a fight between John C. Reilly and Ben Whishaw. It’s just as hysterical as it sounds.

Best Shootout – “Anthropoid”

Out of all of the cinematic gunplay of 2016 nothing matched the climactic firefight at the end of “Athropoid”. Since it does come at the end I won’t spoil anything, but it is intense and incredibly well shot. It also plays heavily into the the story which makes it all the more enthralling.

Creepiest Movie Animal – Black Phillip (“The Witch”)

Of the many creepy things about “The Witch”, who can forget the film’s horned villain Black Phillip? This menacing billy goat terrorized a New England family in the 1630s. How can a goat be so chilling?

Biggest Surprise Movie – “The Jungle Book”

I had zero expectations for this film. None whatsoever. What an incredible surprise. Not only does the film look amazing, but its story was far more satisfying than I ever anticipated.

Best Child Performance – Sunny Pawal (“Lion”)

For the first half of “Lion” Sunny Pawal is the focus. It’s a difficult role but the expressive young boy is marvelous. In scene after scene he breaks our heart and all at the tender age of six.

freeman

Weirdest Casting – Morgan Freeman (“Ben-Hur”)

While “Ben-Hur” wasn’t quite as bad as some people said, it still made some odd choices. Perhaps the biggest was casting Morgan Freeman as a Nubian sheik. Here’s the thing, he never gets out of Morgan Freeman mode which makes it impossible to see him as anyone else.

Best Directorial Debut – Garth Davis (“Lion”)

Directing feature films can’t be easy which is why Garth Davis’ debut is so impressive. “Lion” is a wonderful that balances two timelines. Davis handles it brilliantly. On top of that his film has received six Oscar nominations. How’s that for a first movie?

Goofiest Scene – Geoffrey Rush vs Giant shadowy space demon (“Gods of Egypt”)

Doesn’t the above description say at all? I don’t really know how to put the absurdity into words. A shorn, flaming Geoffrey Rush duking it out in space with a big smoky mass of evil. Seriously, what else needs to be said?

Best Chase Sequence – “Assassin’s Creed”

It’s far from your traditional chase sequence, but the rooftop chase in “Assassin’s Creed” was nothing short of exhilarating. It’s fast-paced, intense and beautifully shot.

Worst Sequel – “Independence Day: Resurgence”

Twenty years since the first film and this is all they can come up with? “Resurgence” is such a bland and lifeless sequel not to mention full of some of the year’s worst performances. I feel for whoever green-lit this mess of a movie.

Best Performance in a Horrible Movie – Margot Robbie (“Suicide Squad”)

“Suicide Squad” wasn’t good in any regard except one – Margot Robbie. Her version of Harley Quinn was the one true highlight. She gives it 110% and ends up capturing what makes that character such fun. Too bad no one else involved could do the same.

Best Ending – “Arrival”

I was already sold on “Arrival” before it reached its finale, but those final 10 minutes cemented it as a truly great film and my favorite of 2016. It’s not only  cerebral, it also packs an unexpected emotional punch.

Best Movie No One Saw – “The Innocents”

I pains me how few people have seen “The Innocents”. Whether its moviegoers or film critics, hardly anyone talked about it by the year’s end. What a shame. “The Innocents” is such a powerful story told with great vision.

Best Villain – The Shark (“The Shallows”)

Forget the routine super-villains, terrorists, or psychopaths. The shark in the surprising thriller “The Shallows” was a terror. This giant predatory menace made Blake Lively beach visit an absolute nightmare.

train

Best Horror Movie – “Train to Busan”

Zombies on a train. Sounds silly, right? Actually “Train to Busan” is fantastic. This South Korean horror film is a master class in pacing and tension-building. I couldn’t turn away.

Most Eye-Opening Performance – Kate Beckinsale (“Love & Friendship”)

I’ve always liked Kate Beckinsale but never considered her among the top actresses in the business. That was until “Love & Friendship”. Beckinsale shows acting chops that rivaled any performance from 2016.

Best Voice Acting – Idris Elba (“The Jungle Book”)

I could listen to Idris Elba read a telephone book. He has that type of hypnotic voice. In “The Jungle Book” he gives us one of the year’s best villains. Elba is so entrancing that it doesn’t matter he is a scar-faced tiger. You completely buy it.

Most Overly Praised Film – “Zootopia”

Messages are good. Bludgeoning your audience to death with them is not. “Zootopia” starts off good, but the second half becomes a heavy-handed drumming at the expense of its story. Yet it still has a huge following and will probably win the Animated Feature Oscar.

Most Unfairly Maligned Film – “Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice”

Before it even hit theaters “BvS” became a fashionable punching bag for many. It has let up a little, but it’s still showered with overblown criticisms and now Razzies in every category. Good grief.

Best Non-La La Land Dance Sequence – “Hunt for the Wilderpeople”

Happy Birthday Ricky Baker! There are several things in “Wilderpeople” that come completely out of the blue. One is the forest dance scene where Ricky busts some serious moves. Sam Neil’s expression makes it even better.

Worst Comedy – “The Do-Over”

Adam Sandler. Do I have to say anything else. I probably could but I would rather not.

Best Superhero Film – “Captain America: Civil War”

The Captain America movies have been some of the very best from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That continued with “Civil War”, a film that could just as easily be called “Avengers 2.5”.

farrell

Best Movie Mustache – Colin Farrell (“The Lobster”)

I could come up with all sorts of oddball categories for “The Lobster” – Best Use of a Toaster, Best Cameo by a Peacock, and so on. Instead I’ll stick with Best Mustache, an award that Colin Farrell wins with ease (depending on how you define “best”).

Best Visual Effects – “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”

Okay, a couple of CGI characters may have been a bit a little jarring, but aside from that “Rogue One” looks absolutely stunning. From the space battles to the new worlds, it’s hard not to be wow’d by the incredible effects.

Best Western – “In a Valley of Violence”

Ethan Hawke verses John Travolta in the wild west? That’s an automatically selling point. Actual the film is a lean, fresh take on the western genre from writer/director Ti West.

Biggest Letdown – “Jason Bourne”

“Jason Bourne” isn’t a bad movie. It’s just incredibly flat and utterly forgettable. Not at all what I expected from the returning Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass. Maybe I need to give it another chance. The first viewing left no impression.

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27 thoughts on “The 5th Annual K&M Random Movie Awards

  1. Batman V. Superman made both my best and worst of 2016 lists. Best because it did deliver on what I wanted to see in a movie like that, mostly. Worst, because the theatrical version of the film was a mess. Jason Bourne was not a good movie. It didn’t do anything new and it didn’t take any risks. It was utterly predictable too. I do like Matt Damon, but they need to put the Bourne franchise on the back burner for a while. As far sequels go, though, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny gets my ire the most. Aside from the fact that the original Crouching Tiger didn’t exactly scream for a sequel, the second film was done in English. The fight choreography was sloppy, some of the visuals were highly questionable and the story didn’t make any sense. The only upsides to that movie were Michelle Yeoh and Donnie Yen and even then, they couldn’t save that movie. Overall, though, it’s a pretty interesting list.

    • Thanks Thomas! I avoided Crouching Tiger. Sounds like it was a wise move. I really questioned several of their creative choices. Not sure what inspired them to revisit it. Independence Day: Resurgence is the same – why on earth go back there especially if that’s all you’re going to give us.

      • Independence Day: Resurgence I felt was entertaining enough, but it pissed me off because of the cliffhanger it left the audience hanging on. Now, that would imply a sequel which we might never get because of how poorly the film did at the box office. I think if Will Smith came back for the movie, it would have done much better.

      • I really struggled with it. I thought the dialogue was cringe-worthy at times. Also some of the performances were laughably bad. The ending certainly was setting up for more movies but I don’t see that happening.

  2. lol your opening.

    I misread “Best Superhero Film” as “Worst” and I was about to throw my computer. I love Civil War lol.

    I really need to see Love and Friendship. My theater had it forever and I skipped it because it didn’t seem interesting, but everyone has been praising it.

    I’ve got Train to Busan coming from Netflix! I’m excited.

    • No, no, no! I loved Civil War as well! Don’t through your computer! Love & Friendship is a MUST SEE! I promise, it will be something totally different than what your expecting. And Train to Busan, get ready for an exhilarating ride. I’m really anxious to hear what you think of it.

  3. Excellent award allocations! Agree on Margot Robbie. I loved her as Harley Quinn. I actually didn’t hate Suicide Squad that much although they did squander potential. I really need to watch Kubo and the Two Strings and Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Both sound amazing.

  4. Best Performance in a Terrible Movie might just be my favourite award category ever!
    I thought I’d wiped Black Phillip from my memory…shudder…
    Sign me up for the party in which we listen to Idris Elba read from a phone book 😉

  5. I’m actually including Margot in my supporting actress line up at the moment. That she managed to do so much in this movie is really remarkable

    • I agree. She was a highlight and I felt the movie was better just by having her on the screen. She nailed it. Hopefully we do get more of her in some way, shape, or form.

  6. It’s good to see a shout-out for The Lobster. While I had trouble with the film’s second act, its first half is completely solid and is a perfect mix of tragedy and comedy.

    • Sounds like you echo some of my thoughts. It’s one of the 15 or so reviews I have written and ready to post. That second half…I’m not so sure about.

  7. Pingback: Review: The Shallows (2016) – The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

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