REVIEW: “Sharknado” 10th Anniversary Edition (2013/2023)

August 15, 2023 by Keith Garlington

If ever there was a cinematic poster child for B-movie schlock it would have to be 2013’s disaster comedy “Sharknado”. First airing ten years ago on the Syfy channel, this utterly shameless, gleefully self-aware, and proudly mindless concoction has gone from made-for-television dreck to a full-blown cult classic that has spawned a total of five sequels and three spin-offs. Who saw that kind of success coming?

Now independent film distributor The Asylum is celebrating the movie’s 10th Anniversary with an all new 4K remastered version of “Sharknado” that features new visual effects and never-before-scene footage. Better yet, they’re bringing it to over 500 big screens across the country for a special two-night engagement. Talk about a movie custom-made for a late-night screening with an energized crowd.

As for the story, it is unbelievably silly and completely implausible in every possible way. Everyone involved in the film knows it and that’s a big part of what makes it entertaining. Yet there is an illusion of seriousness that actually makes it even funnier than it naturally is by concept alone. Director Anthony C. Ferrante and screenwriter Thunder Levin throw all sorts of ingredients together and end up with something you can’t help but enjoy.

How’s this for a wild weather anomaly – twenty miles off the coast of Mexico a massive waterspout forms and begins sucking sharks out of the ocean. Somehow it turns into a dangerous hurricane (I think) and quickly heads up the coast towards California. Now in case you’re tempted to delve into the science of such an anomaly, don’t. Remember, the name of the movie is “Sharknado” so looking for logic is missing the point. Just know the movie attributes it all to global warming and then quickly moves on.

Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) is an ex-professional surfer who now owns a restaurant and bar on the Santa Monica Pier. With the killer hurricane bearing down on the shore, Fin, his best chum Baz (Jaason Simmons), his loyal barmaid Nova (Cassie Scerbo), and a handsy local lush named George (the late John Heard) flee the pier and head inland. But floodwaters full of frenzied man-eating sharks is soon rushing into the city. Yikes.

Fin and his crew head to Beverly Hills (a funny little in-joke for fans of the 90210 zip code) to warn his ex-wife April (Tara Reid), their daughter Claudia (Aubrey Peeples), and April’s jerk of a boyfriend Collin (Christopher Wolfe). But in a snap the storm is on top of them, bringing not only the floodwaters but sharks to their posh, upscale neighborhood. To make matters worse, three enormous waterspouts hit downtown Los Angeles sucking up more sharks and slinging them across the city.

So yes, it’s remarkably silly but Ferrante, Levin, and (as mentioned) the entire cast is completely aware of it. And the story’s goofiness is only accentuated by everything surrounding it – the hilariously bad one-liners, the stilted overly dramatic performances, the cheap special effects and gobs of glaringly fake gore. You’ll find yourself giggling at nearly every facet of this bonkers creation.

But again, that’s pretty much the point. “Sharknado” is the epitome of “so bad it’s good”. Maybe not good enough to watch again and again, but plenty good enough to do what it sets out to do – entertain in its own offbeat cockamamie way. Don’t overthink it. Just have fun laughing at it. It certainly has fun laughing at itself. “Skarknado 10th Anniversary Edition” will be in select theaters August 15th and 16th.

VERDICT – 3 STARS

New on Home Video: “Is Paris Burning?” – Digitally Restored Blu-ray

August 15, 2023 by Keith Garlington

This month Kino Lorber Studio Classics is bringing acclaimed filmmaker René Clément’s 1966 epic “Is Paris Burning?” to home video in a handsome new special edition. Based on the best-selling book by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre, this classic film features an incredible international ensemble cast along with Oscar-nominated cinematography and art direction. This beautiful new release is a must for any fan of the film.

The new Blu-Ray Special Edition of “Is Paris Burning?” will release on August 15, 2023. See below for a full synopsis and release information.

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS

Year: 1966

Runtime: 173 Minutes

Director: René Clément

Screenwriters: Gore Vidal, Francis Ford Coppola

Cast: Jean-Paul Belmondo, Kirk Douglas, Alain Delon, Glenn Ford, Orson Welles, Charles Boyer, Leslie Caron, Jean-Pierre Cassel, George Chakris, Bruno Cremer, Claude Dauphin, Pierre Dux, Gert Fröbe, Daniel Gélin, Georges Géret, Hannes Messemer, Harry Meyen, Yves Montand, Anthony Perkins, Michel Piccoli, Wolfgang Preiss, Claude Rich, Simone Signoret, Robert Stack, Jean-Louis Trintignant, Pierre Vaneck, Marie Versini

From the Studio:

Acclaimed filmmaker René Clément (Forbidden Games, The Day and the Hour, Rider on the Rain) brings you the explosive, courage-filled story of the Allied Resistance and the Paris Liberation of 1944. As the Nazi jackboot marches through Europe, the freedom fighters of Paris mount a brave resistance. An insane and desperate Hitler sends a top general to determine if the Nazis can hold the city. If not, Paris will be burned.

With a powerful script by Gore Vidal (Suddenly, Last Summer) and Francis Ford Coppola (The Conversation); and a rousing score by legendary composer Maurice Jarre (Doctor Zhivago), this epic film boasts an international cast of screen legends, including Jean-Paul Belmondo, Charles Boyer, Leslie Caron, Jean-Pierre Cassel, George Chakris, Alain Delon, Kirk Douglas, Glenn Ford, Gert Fröbe, Yves Montand, Anthony Perkins, Michel Piccoli, Simone Signoret, Robert Stack, Jean-Louis Trintignant and Orson Welles. Is Paris Burning? is a staggering portrait of heroism and brotherhood, and one of the most riveting stories to come out of World War II.

Bonus Features

Digitally Restored from a 4K scan of the 35mm Original Camera Negative by Paramount Pictures in Association with American Zoetrope and Francis Ford Coppola
NEW Audio Commentary by Film Historians Daniel Kremer and Howard S. Berger
The Roadshow Overture, Intermission, Entr’acte
5.1 Surround/Lossless 2.0 Stereo English Audio and Lossless 2.0 Mono French Audio
Optional English Subtitles

REVIEW: “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” (2023)

August 14, 2023 by Keith Garlington

A film that may not have gotten the hype of the other summer movies but that has remained high on my ‘most anticipated’ list is director André Øvredal’s “The Last Voyage of the Demeter”. Adapted from one lone chapter from Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel “Dracula”, the film is actually an impressively self-contained feature that turns out to be a late summer season surprise.

Co-written by Bragi Schut Jr. and Zak Olkewicz, “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” is a devilishly crafty high seas horror tale. It’s a movie that embraces classic frights and vigorous period detail to create something that at times feels plucked out of a bygone era. At the same time, Øvredal’s imaginative vision is brought to screen through some brilliant modern day craftsmanship. The extraordinary production design, cinematography, and sound work together to develop a delightfully dark and immersive experience.

**Image Courtesy of Universal Pictures**

Over the years there have been countless Dracula stories told on the big screen and television. “Demeter” differentiates itself in a number of fresh and effective ways. First there’s Dracula himself (played by Javier Botet). You’ll find nothing alluring or sensual about Øvredal’s version. Instead this Dracula is a vicious creature who uses brutality and smarts as a means of survival. Second there’s the terrifying setting – an isolated and inescapable vessel (think “Alien” on the open seas). Then there’s the story – a chapter of the Dracula mythos that many people will be experiencing for the first time.

The story is a bit of a slow burn but there’s no dead weight or wasted scenes. Øvredal puts a lot of time into defining his characters, creating and developing atmosphere, and building a steadily intensifying sense of dread. Set in 1897 and framed as a recording from a Captain’s log, it all begins in a bustling Romanian coastal town where a Russian freighter called the Demeter and its noble Captain Elliot (an excellent Liam Cunningham) are in port loading cargo for their doomed voyage to England.

Shorthanded, Captain Elliot sends his first mate Wojchek (David Dastmalchian) into town to select three men to help fill out their small but sea-worthy crew. Among them is Clemens (Corey Hawkins), a doctor and self-proclaimed man of science and nature. Initially the crew are suspicious of the Cambridge educated doctor. But soon he’s proving himself valuable and even befriends the Captain’s 8-year-old grandson Toby (Woody Norman) who has come along for the ride.

But things turn creepy in the Aegean Sea after a deckhand named Olgaren (Stefan Kapičić) reports seeing a strange and menacing figure on the ship. It gets even creepier when the crew discovers that all the livestock onboard has been savagely slaughtered. But the creepiest turn comes after a storm causes a crate in the cargo hold to fall and bust open. Inside they find a young woman buried in soil and barely alive. Is she stowaway or something else?

As Clemens attempts to nurse the woman back to health, Captain Elliot tries to hold his superstitious crew together. But soon they find themselves targeted by a calculated and bloodthirsty evil who begins methodically taking them out, one frightened seaman at a time. That’s when this gnarly gothic chiller really kicks into gear sporting a horror flavor reminiscent of the Hammer films from the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Marked by terrific performances (Hawkins, Cunningham, and Dastmalchian being the standouts), an ominous score from Bear McCreary (one of my favorites of the year), brilliant practical effects and makeup, and a director with a firm grasp of atmosphere, tension, and terror, “Demeter” is as gripping as it is gruesome. It’s a dread-drenched stop on the Dracula timeline that has enough to please the iconic villain’s long-time fans and plenty to win over new ones as well. “The Last Voyage of the Demeter” is in theaters now.

VERDICT – 4.5 STARS

REVIEW: “Heart of Stone” (2023)

August 12, 2023 by Keith Garlington

It’s hard to say why, but it seems that Gal Gadot has become a favorite punching bag for those trapped within the echo chambers of certain social media circles. But for most people who aren’t confined in those bubbles, the star of DC’s still terrific “Wonder Woman” remains a big draw. And Netflix is counting on that with their latest release “Heart of Stone”, a late summer season blockbuster exclusive to their platform.

“Heart of Stone” is directed by Tom Harper working from a screenplay written by Greg Rucka and Allison Schroeder. This big-budgeted action spy thriller is highlighted by a compelling international cast, some eye-catching locations, and several big set pieces that are nothing short of impressive. Some of its machinations can be a tad formulaic and be ready to navigate patches of bad dialogue. But the film has more than its share of surprises, and I admit to being wowed by some truly spectacular action sequences.

The film opens high in the snow-capped mountains of Italy where a team of undercover MI6 agents attempt to snag a notorious European arms dealer who has been lured to a party at a posh ski resort. Their team consists of field agents Parker (Jamie Dornan) and Yang (Jing Lusi), their driver Bailey (Paul Ready), and newcomer Rachel Stone (Gadot), a hacker with little experience and only a few missions under her belt. She’s the one who routinely gets the “stay in the van” order.

What her MI6 teammates don’t know is that Rachel is actually a highly trained asset for an underground group known as The Charter. Believed by most to be a myth, they’re actually a secret peacekeeping organization of ex-intelligence operatives from around the world who answer only to themselves. They’re free from the shackles of national allegiances, government interests, or political pressures. They put out fires and do so with a highly sophisticated quantum computer known as The Heart. It enables them to see everything, hack anything, and foretell outcomes with frightening accuracy.

The mission in the mountains goes sideways after a mysterious young woman named Keya Dhawan (Alia Bhatt) reveals herself and thwarts the team’s plan. The Charter learn that Keya, and whoever she’s working with, want to get their hands on The Heart. Jack (Matthias Schweighöfer), Rachel’s eyes and ears with The Charter, tracks Keya to Lisbon, Portugal . They then leak the information to MI6 who sends Rachel’s team to bring her into custody.

It’s hardly a spoiler to say Rachel eventually has to come clean with her fellow agents and put her true super-spy skills to good use. Gadot physically commits and has some good team chemistry with Dornan, Lusi, and Ready. It’s solid lead work by the 38-year-old star although she does occasionally find herself handcuffed to some pretty corny one-liners that frankly no one could pull off. They’re easy to get past but impossible to miss.

As with any good spy thriller, the filmmakers treat us to a few unexpected twists and turns. The bigger ones land pretty well while others you can see coming from a mile away. That very same predictability is most noticeable in the final act where it ends up stripping the film of any suspense. Over time the storytelling caves to formula and its over-reliance on well-worn arcs and tropes keeps the movie from being as original as it could have been.

Still there’s a lot to enjoy in “Heart of Stone” if you can kick your feet up, recline back, and toss aside any baked-in preconceptions you may have (about Gadot, about Netflix, about any of the other stuff people were saying well before the movie even released). Its flaws are obvious. But so are its strengths. Among them are a solid cast and some lights-out action which plays like a healthy mix of “Mission: Impossible” and “Pathaan” (read about that film HERE). That’s more than enough for a fun evening with the family. “Heart of Stone” is now streaming on Netflix.

VERDICT – 3.5 STARS

REVIEW: “Freddy vs. Jason” (2003)

August 10, 2023 by Keith Garlington

If there was ever a movie that epitomized fan service it would have to be 2003’s “Freddy vs. Jason”. This giddily straightforward celebration of the 1980s slasher genre exists on a plane of existence where criticism seems superfluous. It’s glaringly pointed about what it wants to be and all you have to do is look at its title to know exactly what you’re in for. Unfortunately for it, simply knowing what you are doesn’t make for a good movie.

As its title teases, “Freddy vs. Jason” locks the seemingly invincible Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees in immortal combat. Both hacked and slashed their ways to fame during the 80s with each starring in their own franchises that were harder to kill than their superhero killers themselves. Freddy was a child killer who terrorized and murdered kids in their dreams throughout the “A Nightmare of Elm Street” movies. Jason carved, impaled, decapitated, burned, etc., etc., etc. camp counselors in the “Friday the 13th” franchise.

Directed by Ronny Yu, “Freddy vs. Jason” is a blood-drenched celebration of sorts that brings the two titular characters together through a storyline so nonsensical and cliché-riddled that it’s tempting to consider it as little more than a parody. Along the way the two killers feast on a never-ending buffet of brainless teenage fodder who are only there to serve the appetites of the audience. As is often the case in 80s slashers, none of the characters leave much of an impact and none of them earn our sympathy. Most all are simply written to be slaughtered.

Yet anyone who grew up watching (and loving) old-school slasher flicks won’t find any of this surprising. Most of these things are woven into the very fabric of the horror sub-genre and are what die-hard fans fully expect. So how do you come down too hard on a movie that is so intent on recreating what fans loved about a bygone era?

Screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift patch together what is mostly a Freddy story. Played for the final time by Robert Englund, Freddy has been trapped in Hell following his last defeat. He’s no longer able to enter the dreams of the children of Springwood, Ohio after the town’s parents took some rather extreme steps to erase Freddy from their kids’ memories. By forgetting him they strip him of his power (not sure how that works but okay).

So Freddy hatches a plan. He uses what remains of his “powers” to resurrect Jason Vorhees (Ken Kirzinger), the terror of Camp Crystal Lake (again, I have no idea how that works). Freddy dupes Jason into going to Springwood to hack up some teens in hopes of tricking the townsfolk into fearing he was back. Of course they are your garden variety teens: the pothead, the nerd, the jerk, and of course the final girl.

But it all builds towards the big confrontation between Freddy and Jason – a throwdown that leaves blood splattered from Elm Street to Crystal Lake. While little leading up to it makes much sense, their final fight should give hungry fans what they want. Is it enough to quantify this as a good movie? Hardly. That’s because it leans too heavily on the worst elements of 80s slashers. But it’ll be filling enough for those it’s catering to. And it offers all that some folks will be looking for.

VERDICT – 2 STARS

Reading the Cinematic Tea Leaves: What to Make of the 2023 Summer Movie Season

August 9, 2023 by Keith Garlington

With the 2023 summer movie season winding down, what better time to reflect on one of the most perplexing, surprising, troubling, and just downright strange summer seasons ever. Big tentpole blockbusters came and went as the always do. But this year’s batch left us with more questions than ever before as franchises floundered and big stars couldn’t push their films into profitability. But just as the movie theater experience appeared in jeopardy, a truly bizarre cultural phenomenon sent people to the theaters in droves.

So what do we make of the 2023 movie season? There’s certainly a lot to glean from the past few months and a lot to wonder about concerning the future of cinema. Perhaps it’s the cynical side of me, but a lot of what we saw isn’t all that promising. Sure, there are things to be optimistic about and some may see it as a step forward. But it’s more complex than that and some of the trends are worrisome.

For starters, the 2023 summer movie season has proved that increasing your movie’s budget most certainly doesn’t guarantee success. That’s pretty much a no-brainer, but 2023 has shown to be true like never before. This summer we saw some of the most expensive movies EVER MADE hit theaters and woefully underperform. Studios lost significant money while others had to claw just to break even. Some have been quick to celebrate, as if the dawn of a new age of discerning moviegoers had arrived. I don’t think that’s the case.

That leads to one of the more concerning aspects – people just aren’t going to the theater like they once did. This is especially true domestically. We’ve already seen this trend hurt mid-budget movies – really good films from top-tier filmmakers like Steven Spielberg, Guillermo del Toro, and Ridley Scott that simply couldn’t draw an audience. For the most part big blockbusters had remained immune. Not anymore. Turnouts, most notably here in the States, are nothing like they once were.

Some will be quick to point to the recent Barbenheimer boom as proof positive that people will come out if a movie demands it. But that phenomenon almost requires an entirely different analysis. The Barbenheimer craze might be studied for years as it reached a fever pitch before most people had laid eyes on either “Barbie” or “Oppenheimer”. It became the cool thing to embrace.

But I don’t want to downplay the mind-boggling success of “Barbie” which certainly goes beyond the rabid enthusiasm. You don’t make that kind of money without resonating with audiences. On the more skeptical side, much of the hype was due to a brilliant commercially-driven marketing campaign that treated “Barbie” more like a product than a movie. But it got people in the seats.

In many ways “Oppenheimer” is more impressive. It’s an R-rated dialogue-driven biopic about a theoretical physicist with a running time of three hours. By that description there’s no way it should be making the money it’s making. Some attribute it to riding on the coattails of “Barbie” but that’s unfair. “Oppenheimer” is actually a phenomenal film and the Christopher Nolan effect once again proves to be a very real thing.

But what of all the other blockbusters that have failed to hit their projections? Here’s some of the bigger ones:

“The Flash”. It’s easy to forget that the earliest reactions were calling this one of DC’s very best movies. But (sadly) social media tends to drive so much of the conversation these days and people quickly turned on “The Flash”. Without question it had its baggage. But the regurgitated criticisms and the unfortunate apathy towards DC movies led to this becoming one of biggest box office bombs in recent memory. It deserved better.
“Fast X”. The latest chapter in the Fast & Furious franchise has made over $700 million worldwide putting it on par with its previous installment. The big difference is the budget. “Fast X” cost a whopping $340 million to make not counting promotion. What hurt it most were the underwhelming domestic numbers. For some reason audiences in the States didn’t turn out the way they have in the past. Sense a trend?
“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”. Disney was counting big on the fifth and final Indiana Jones adventure. While it was nowhere near as good as the first three films, it did capture their spirit. But maybe younger crowds simply have no attachment to Indy. The movie made only $358 million against a $300 million budget. It was overly long but still fun. Yet it couldn’t muster the audience that the franchise once did.
“Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One”. Now here’s one of the biggest frustrations of the year. This much-anticipated Mission: Impossible film was an extraordinary big screen experience. But it made the mistake of coming out the week before “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer”. The film dropped 65% to $19.4 million domestically in its second weekend. You would hope people might go see it after getting their Barbenheimer fill but that hasn’t been the case. So here we have one the year’s best movies sitting at just over $454 million, well below projections.
“Transformers: Rise of the Beasts”. Yet another big budget studio blockbuster that ultimately underperformed at the box office. “Rise of the Beasts” has made $430 million yet it currently stands as the lowest grossing installment in the Transformers franchise. It’s a good movie that’s closer to the terrific “Bumblebee” than the eye-melting Michael Bay films. Yet many didn’t give it a shot.
“Haunted Mansion”. While it didn’t operate on a budget as big as the above films, Disney’s “Haunted Mansion” was yet another movie that flopped. Granted it wasn’t as good as the above movies and releasing in the summer rather than closer to Halloween probably wasn’t a great idea. But it seemed like a bankable title, especially for younger audiences. Yet so far it has only made $42 million since its July 28th release.

There have been a few successes (“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3”, “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse”, the aforementioned “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer”). But there’s no denying that studios have taken a hit this summer. Again I ask, what do we make of this? Yes, things like swollen budgets, franchise fatigue, and smaller windows before streaming have parts to play in it. But I think there is more going on.

Simply put, the big screen experience isn’t as appreciated as it once was and the numbers seem to bear it out. And this isn’t just reserved for summer spectacles. We’ve seen it during the winter months as well. It’s just more glaring during the blockbuster season where the financial losses are so pronounced. So what does it mean for the future of cinema? That continues to be the ultimate question. The optimist may say that it may usher in a new era of original ideas. The pessimist may say the clock is ticking on the big screen experience. I hope not. But as Bob Dylan so eloquently put it, “The Times, They Are a-Changin‘”.